


S Is For Subtlety

by UpsetLettuce



Series: S.P.E.C.I.A.L [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Gay, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Punching, Romantic Face Punching, Sex, Violence, WIP, at least kind of, i guess??, minor non-con, tagging it just incase, why is that a tag??
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-07-02 02:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsetLettuce/pseuds/UpsetLettuce
Summary: “You’re so fucking stupid Butch, I fucking hate you so goddamn much.”He opened his eyes and saw a flicker of confusion in Butch’s before he leaned down and brought his lips to the others. Immediately the older of the two tensed, Icarus felt his legs wriggle around trying to get control of the situation. The younger rolled his eyes mentally, only their lips were touching, Icarus didn’t have the energy to even try and actively kiss Butch. He pulled away slowly and opened his eyes, Butch had an unreadable expression on his face and opened his mouth to speak but Icarus had already begun to push himself off the other. He managed to grab along one of the hallway walls and lifted himself, eyes closing and opening in an attempt to control the dizzy feeling in his vision. Icarus gave Butch one last glance, who was still frozen on the ground before stumbling away towards the med center.





	1. Words Can Hurt, But so Can Fucking Punches

**Author's Note:**

> So there's some shit that goes down in this fic so just check the tags.
> 
> I love my bois, even though I genuinely do not like Fallout 3, Butch DeLoria made me love it.

Icarus felt the kick to his face and his body as he was pushed back into whoever was hold his arms together tightly. If he didn’t figure out a way to stop this, he might get seriously hurt, brain injuries and concussions come to mind over what the gang beating him up must be thinking. If he doesn’t stop them, broken bones will be the least of his problems.

 

He looked up at his attackers, Paul and Wally were standing side by side of the main culprit of the attacks, Butch DeLoria. Icarus should be filled with rage as he felt the kicks and punches to his face but he found that he couldn’t care anymore. This had been going on for years, the boiling hate between him and DeLoria but he realized he just wanted to make it out of this intact, alive if he wanted a flare of the dramatic. Icarus spit to his side, blood was pooling in his mouth.

 

“What’s the matter Fag? Can’t swallow?”

 

The younger boy couldn’t help but think of the cliches of the situation, he mentally rolled his eyes. Icarus looked up to the three tortures and saw a flinch from Wally and Paul but Butch remain stoned face. He didn’t even blink when Icarus began coughing up blood, so violently that he was able to pull away from whoever was holding him back. He had to throw out his hands to prevent his head from slamming on the floor he was kneeling on. Icarus lifted his head ever so slightly and saw Butch’s legs shifting from side to side nervously. An animalistic growl slipped past his lips and he threw his arm in front of him, grabbing the other boy’s leg. Before he could register his actions, Icarus forcefully pulled Butch’s leg out from under him, causing him to fall back with a god awful thud accompanying it.

 

The other three scurried off like scared radroaches, leaving only Icarus and Butch. The younger of the two saw Butch jump his hand to the back of his head where he had been slammed on the ground. Icarus took the opportunity to jump onto him, straddling him really, and began throwing punches against him. Butch struggled against him as the other landed blows to his jaw and cheeks, but the longer Icarus continued, the more a burning feel stuck in the back of his throat. Blood began gushing out of Butch’s nose from a punch the younger boy had landed right in the middle of his face, he stopped fighting back and laid limply, realizing taking the beating was all he could do. Icarus had his arm back, ready to punch when he stopped fidgeting.

 

Feeling Butch go limp under him, Icarus went to lower his hand when the other reopened his eyes with a pissed looked like Icarus was taking up too much of his time. The younger boy burned with hate at that and prepared another punch but as he swung down, guilt pushed him into slamming his fist next to Butch’s head, knuckles breaking under the force. He didn’t scream, didn’t shout, didn’t even make a fucking noise, unlike Butch who let out a shocked gasp but didn’t move his head to look at the busted hand. Icarus just stared silently at the boy under him before letting out an exasperated sigh and pushed his head forward, meeting Butch’s forehead with his own. He closed his eyes, trailing his hands to grab the other boy’s wrists and felt him stiffen with fear, probably but still didn’t try to fight off the younger boy.

 

“What the fuck Icarus?”

 

He felt the articulation of Butch’s words when he spoke as the air brushed against his lips, Icarus scrunched his face in response. “Shut up.” He felt the other under him shift around, testing the grip on his wrist but Icarus just tightened it.

 

“You’re so fucking stupid Butch, I fucking hate you so goddamn much.”

 

He opened his eyes and saw a flicker of confusion in Butch’s before he leaned down and brought his lips to the others. Immediately the older of the two tensed, Icarus felt his legs wriggle around trying to get control of the situation. The younger rolled his eyes mentally, only their lips were touching, Icarus didn’t have the energy to even try and actively kiss Butch. He pulled away slowly and opened his eyes, Butch had an unreadable expression on his face and opened his mouth to speak but Icarus had already begun to push himself off the other. He managed to grab along one of the hallway walls and lifted himself, eyes closing and opening in an attempt to control the dizzy feeling in his vision. Icarus gave Butch one last glance, who was still frozen on the ground before stumbling away towards the med center.


	2. You Can do Your Best to Hide The Pain but Your Poker Face Needs Work

Icarus knuckles were healing well, wasn’t the first time he had broken them and it wasn’t nearly the worst time. He could still feel a sting as he quietly ate his lunch, Amata sat across from him poking at her food. He could see her shifting on her seat before he glanced up at her, she looked at him and opened her mouth to speak but Icarus stopped her.

 

“Don’t worry about it, I can’t feel it anymore.” She gave him a look that said ‘Bullshit’ but closed her mouth and began picking at her food again. Icarus started to eat again when she let out a sigh. “When are you going to ask me?” That caused the younger boy to choke on a pea, coughing rather loudly before he managed to dislodge it and grab a drink of his water. “Ask what now?” Amata huffed angrily and pushed away her tray, crossing her arms and leaning back against the booth. “To the dance dumbass.” Icarus bit his lip, he was so focused on his duties that he completely forgot about their school’s “prom” or whatever. He really didn’t want to go, and he really didn’t want to take Amata. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her, Icarus loved her but not in the way she wanted him too. He knows she wants the night to be full of him wooing her and sweeping her off her feet like the gentlemen she thinks he is but reality is much harsher than fantasy.

 

Icarus huffed and pushed his tray away too. “I still don’t know if I can go Amata, my dad’s worried something will happen…” Not a complete lie. Icarus was younger than everyone in his grade, while everyone has reached 18 at this point Icarus was still 17 and had around 2 months to go before he reached 18. She rolled her eyes and leaned over the table, Icarus noticed her vault suit zipper was down lower than usual. “C’mon Icarus, no one will say anything besides…” He felt her leg rub against his. “We can spend the entire night together.” Icarus jumped up, grabbing both of their trays, trying desperately to get away from the situation. “I’ve gotta go meet my dad, still need to learn something with the clinic.” With that, he threw their garbage away and went to make a quick exit but ran into someone.

 

Icarus looked up to see Butch staring at him with wide eyes. They hadn’t spoken since their kiss around a week ago, not that they talk on a day to day basis but he stopped trying to pick fights with Icarus. Now every time he sees the younger boy, he tenses up and usually tries to look the other way. Maybe because of their fight or the kiss, Icarus didn’t know or really care at that point. Realizing they had been staring at each other for a longer than comfortable time, Icarus pushed past him and hurried to the clinic.

 

As soon as he walked through the door, his dad piled him with prescription filing work for which he was grateful, anything to get his mind off everything messy in his life. Icarus could tell his dad knew something was wrong but while the two were extremely close, he always waited for Icarus to come to him, never wanting to push his son to tell him things he doesn’t want to talk about.

 

The young boy headed to his desk towards the back of the clinic, setting his glasses carefully on his face. He started tackling the piled papers, careful to count every pill and every dosage, After an hour and a half, he heard footsteps shuffle into the clinic. He looked up and was shocked by the DeLorias standing patiently in the clinic. Icarus looked around for his father or Jonas but of course, they had stepped out without him realizing. Sighing,” Icarus stood up from his desk and went out to the front. Butch’s mother was the first to see him and smiles, Icarus could tell that she was probably tipsy. He doesn’t look at Butch, smiling fakely to Ellen.

 

“Hello Ms.DeLoria, can I help you?”

 

She laughs at the proper name and tilts her body forward, so much so Butch had to grab her arm before she fell. Icarus kept his grimace to himself.

 

“I need my regular check-up, I don’t suppose your daddy’s around, is he?” Icarus shifted uncomfortably before straightening his back, this wasn’t the time for wimping out if he ever wanted to be the Vault’s doctor, he’ll have to help everyone eventually. “I’m afraid not and while I can’t perform the checkup myself, I can get you set up in the back.” Ellen smiled lazily and nodded, she went to step forward but with Butch still holding her back, she couldn’t move. Icarus saw out of the corner of his eye the other give him a pleading look and he walked towards the two, grabbing ahold of Ellen and shifting her weight onto him. She smelled strongly of wine, and a strong aftershave Icarus knew to be Butch’s, some of it was still on his vault suit from their fight. He helped her into the back room, giving her one of the beds and a bag, in case she needed to puke before stepping out

.

Butch was standing awkwardly in the same spot as before, eyeing everything but the younger boy. Icarus went to speak when his dad and Jonas stepped into the clinic. “Dad, uh, Ms.DeLoria is set up on one of the beds, said she had a checkup today.” His Dad nodded, passing Butch without a word and patted his son on the back before walking to the back room. Jonas gave Icarus a thumbs up before going to his office.

 

“So uh…” Icarus looked over to Butch, who was staring at his feet, hands in pockets. “I need to get my ma’s medication.” The younger of the two bit his lip before shifting his weight around. “Right just um, follow me.” Butch looked up at Icarus and kept a good 5 to 6 step distance away as he followed him into his makeshift office. Icarus sat at the desk, Butch stood in front obviously uncomfortable. The younger boy began filing through his papers when he heard Butch clear his throat. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.” Icarus stopped, completely forgetting about the glasses. He recovered smoothly though, acting like the pause was because he was looking over papers. “My dad was afraid **someone** would break them, glasses are a rare find around here.” Butch shifted awkwardly, knowing the ‘someone’ was aimed towards him.

 

“They look good.”

 

That time Icarus was caught very off guard and curled his fingers around some files tensely. He glanced up and saw Butch look away cooley but a pink flush on his face spoke differently about the way he was really feeling. The younger boy shook his head to focus on the task at hand. He pulled out Ellen’s medical records and bent down to shuffle through the bottles of pills he spent organizing. Butch muttered something and when Icarus went to pull up he accidentally hit his head on the inside of his desk before pulling all the way up, rubbing the back of his head. “Oh shit, you alright?” He looked up to see the older boy with a look of genuine concern plastered on his face, strange considering just a week ago he almost caused Icarus to have a brain bleed. “Yeah, yeah.” He waved him off, feeling the burn in his injured hand from the rough movement then suddenly a hand grabbed the bandages and he was pulled up by Butch inspecting the bandaging. Awkwardly raised to his feet and having his arm pulled across the desk Icarus wanted to say something but watching Butch carefully run his hand over the tightly wrapped hand was strange… intimate. The other boy looked over to Icarus and quickly dropped his hand, like he hadn’t realized what he was doing and pulled away, blushing up a storm. Stupidly, Icarus didn’t move, just stared at Butch who was doing everything he could to not look at the younger boy.

 

Then, after like 2 minutes, Butch finally matched eyes with him. Icarus felt himself inhale and hold it like he was shooting his BB gun. They both just stared, breathing so quietly like they were afraid the other would run if their breaths were too loud. Icarus noticed a twinge of hair had fallen out of the gelled masterpiece that sat on his head, he noticed a spot by his jaw where he missed to shave, he noticed the pink on his face travel to his ear and he noticed how Butch nervously swiped his tongue along his lips. Icarus’ lips were on his lips just a week prior, it was short and might barely even count as a kiss but it happened.

 

Now, he kinda wants it to happen again.

 

He went to speak but right as he opened his mouth a loud crash came from the clinic room snapping both boys into reality and Icarus bolted to the other room, Butch in toe. He saw Ellen on the ground, giggling crazily and his Dad breathing heavy, leaning against a wall. Icarus went straight to his Dad, Butch to his mom. “She made an attempt to kiss me, I backed away and she just fell.” The younger boy felt a burn of anger in the back of his throat and shot the DeLorias a glare but dropped it once he noticed the embarrassed look on Butch. “I’m so sorry doc, I thought my Ma could make it through this appointment at least.” Icarus’ Dad shook his head and straightened up, grabbing his son shoulder to stabilize him. “It’s alright Butch, maybe get her to bed though.” Nervously the boy nodded and hurried his mother out of the clinic, giving Icarus one last look.

 

“She’s destroying that boy.”

 

Icarus looked to his disheveled dad trying to flatten the hair on top of his head. He shook his head before flashing a sad smile to his son. “I like to think I’m better than that.” The younger boy nodded, giving his father a side hug before returning to his desk. When he sat down he found a pill bottle laying open at his feet which read, ‘DeLoria, Ellen’ and he couldn’t stop the silent curse that fell from his lips.


	3. You Can Dream But You Can't Touch (Him, At Least)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains: Masturbation

Amata decided she was done being mad at Icarus but didn’t drop the subject of the dance, no matter how much he tried to get her to stop. They were in his office, Icarus working on his terminal and Amata was helping him by going through some of the stuff set on his desk. He had finished a medical entry when he felt a paper wade get thrown at his face, he looks up to see a fuming Amata hold his medical record.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that Butch was the reason why your knuckles were broken?!?”

 

Icarus felt himself stiffen. He hadn’t told Amata the truth about his knuckles, anyone really, except his dad (obviously he left out the part about the kiss) about what had really happened. He had the excuse of punching a wall out of anger, something he had actually done previously, and while he loved getting Butch in trouble, this time was different for certain reasons… Icarus cleared his throat and returned his attention to the terminal.

 

“I broke my own knuckles, Butch just happened to be there.”

 

He felt a anger tug at his chair and found that his friend had moved herself to his side and was gripping both sides of his chair. A hot heat of guilt pulsed through his body, Amata always knew that staring him down would usually make him spill the truth. “What happened?!” For someone Icarus had always thought of as a small girl he was quickly reminded that she was, in fact, an intimidating young woman. He breathed out and looked away but relented.

 

“Butch and his buddies got me in a corner and started beating on me, nothing new,” He noticed Amata frown but she didn’t say anything. “I got pissed and went to take a swing at Butch but missed, hit the wall instead but scared them away when they realized I broke my knuckles.” Not the best lie from Icarus arsenal but the older one bought it and pulled away, crossing her arms. “Fucking Butch, never knows when to mind his own business. I honestly feel bad for his mom.” Icarus nodded before the events of yesterday popped into his mind, including the spilled pill bottle on his desk.

 

“Shit!” He yelled loudly before bending down to grab the bottle he had filled this morning and jumped up, careful of his head this time. Apparently, he had spooked Amata enough that she had already taken a couple steps back. “Jeez Icarus, what the hell?” The younger took a breath, making his way towards the door. “Remember how I told you that Butch’s mom tried to kiss my dad?” Amata nodded, of course Icarus had left out the part where he and Butch had that awkward encounter but anyway. “I was getting her meds ready when it all happened and forgot to give it to her but when I was going yesterday your dad stopped me and wanting to talk about things.” A strange mix of emotions formed on Amata’s face but Icarus didn’t stay to question and bolted out of the door.

 

When he approached the DeLoria’s residence, he made sure to slow down and make himself look somewhat presentable. When he got to the door he made a last minute decision to keep his glasses on before knocking on the door with three sharp knocks with his good hand. After a minute the door opened releveling Butch, with his vault suit half on and the top wrapped around his waist with a small clinging shirt, heat quickly enveloped Icarus’ face. Seemingly caught off guard the older boy coughed vaguely before leaning on the door frame.

 

“What’s up Icarus?”

 

Snapping out of his daze the younger boy pulled the pill bottle out of his coat pocket and shoved it towards Butch, trying with all his might not too look anywhere but his face. “These are your mother’s from yesterday, in all hectics you had forgot them.” Embarrassed, the older boy reached out for them, their hands lingered at the touch a bit too long but they were interrupted by Ellen DeLoria’s yelling.

 

“Who’s at the door Butchie?”

 

Icarus saw the cringe in his face as he turned to yell back.

 

“It’s the doc’s son Ma, Icarus.”

 

Well, this felt awkward.

 

“Oh yeah, don’t you talk about him all the time?”

 

_Fuck_

 

Butch let out a horrified sound before pushing himself out the door and slamming it behind her. He rubbed the back of his head, averting Icarus’ gaze.

 

“Sorry about that, she gets funny without her medication.”

 

The younger boy nodded in understand pushing the explosion of butterflies in his stomach away for further inspection later. Butch glanced up at him like he was searching for some negative reaction. Icarus said nothing and both stood, an awkward silence hung between them. Finally, the older boy shifted his weight between his feet and leaned back in the door.

 

“Your hair is getting long.”

 

The comment was a conversation starter but it was one of those Icarus didn’t need to hear from another person. He always had long hair, at least down to his jawline, that curled and seemingly had a mind of its own but after 17 years he was starting to get a handle on it. It was usually smoothed back into a bun to prevent this wild savage look he’s dad, Amata, the Overseer and so many others claimed it looked like down, but today it hung loose, time not being on Icarus side this morning. Self consciously, he ran his hand through the dark red hair. Butch was right though, the length was starting to get unmanageable, he hadn’t noticed due to the stresses of recent life.

 

Before he realized, another hand carded its way through his hair. It took another moment to register that it was Butch, inspecting his hair with the greatest of care. Icarus breath hitched at the sight of the older boy looking at him like that, or more so, his hair. Butch pulled his hand away and rested them on his hips, deep in thought. The younger boy just stood stupidly in front of him, like he was waiting for instructions. Butch slyly opened the door behind him and gestures for Icarus to wait, slipping inside giving the other boy a second to breathe and just figure out what the fuck was going on, but before he really could, Butch re-emerged, face glued to his pip boy.

 

“I have an appointment tomorrow at 8 AM, after that I’m free.”

 

Icarus took it in for a moment before realizing what Butch was talking about. Since burying himself in his studies, the younger boy completely forgot that the others in his grade also were working on their jobs and Butch had gotten… hairdresser. At the time Icarus had to stifle a laugh, felt like Butch deserved it but he never imagined the other would actually, ya know, work his job. Fingers snapped in his face bringing him back to reality, Butch giving him an annoyed look.

 

“Earth to Nosebleed.”

 

Icarus blinked into reality and sheepishly stared at his hands. He gave a small nod, deciding his voice was not in service right now. He heard Butch click his tongue.

 

“Jeez, I thought glasses were suppose to make you smarter.”

 

A small chuckle came from the younger boy, a genuine laugh that seemed to catch Butch off guard. It was his turn to shyly look away but Icarus still caught to smile on his face. The older boy pushed off the door and turned to open it.

 

“Right so, see you after 8.”

 

And with that, he stepped back inside. Icarus stood still for a moment trying to register the events before turning on his heel and hurrying to the clinic.

 

\--

 

Icarus couldn’t stop the tired groan as he dramatically landed on his bed. His dad had sent him home, saying he would be at the clinic a few more hours but that the younger boy was done for the day.

 

Lazily, he kicked off his boots, not seeing where they fell and grabbed a pillow to rest his head on but before he could get comfortable, something stiffened between his legs. Icarus let out a loud groan, of course when he needed sleep his other needs came calling. He turned himself over, laying on his back letting his hand begin to rub his clothed cock. It wasn’t exactly pleasurable but it was enough pressure for him to start getting harder and he reached his hand down under his bed to search for one of his mags when he felt something else. Some type of fabric and curiosity made him pull it up only to find a vault suit. The vault suit from the fight he and Butch had over a week ago, the one that still smelled like his damn aftershave. Icarus bit his lip, staring at the suit, still moving his other hand before he gave in to temptation and brought it to his nose, getting a deep breath in. The strong aftershave was still there and it filled the boy’s senses, burned his eyes at the strength of it but he found he didn’t really care.

 

A gross sensation of pleasure shuddered through him as he smelled more of the suit, more of Butch. Icarus pushed away from the feeling of perversion and focused on the feeling of pressure around his cock. He laid the suit to his side, face still close enough to get the scent in and began to slowly unzip his vault suit. The boy pushed away as much of his suit as needed but he was too lazy to get it all the way off. A dark spot had grown where the pre-cum had spread around. Icarus breathed in another gentle breath, biting down a moan to try and stop the gross feeling under his skin. He started pulling down his boxers, dragging it out in a hopeless attempt to get his mind to realize the creepy level of what he was doing. It failed, not that Icarus was completely torn up about it.

 

Icarus allowed his hand to trail along his cock, gentle with his touches. As he took in more of the scent from the vault suit, allowing his imagination to take hold of his mind. He wondered what Butch was like during sex, from the way he acted normally he probably always took control, made his partners submit to his ego. Would he make it fast and senseless, just use the hole he wanted and leave or would he make it slow, make the other feel every burn and stretch he puts into them? Icarus felt his hand start to speed. He wondered if Butch would be scared of touching other man’s cock or would he fake it with that shit attitude, act like he would know what he was doing. Icarus got another deep smell of the strong aftershave, he thought about the fight between him and Butch, how he ended up straddling the older boy, how his lips felt against his...

 

And with that, he came all over his hand with a rather loud moan.

 

He felt all the tension fall out of his body and leaned back down on the bed, not even realizing he was sitting up. Icarus turned his head and looked at the vault suit, his head reeling in post-orgasmic bliss but it’s cut short when he thinks about what really just happened. Frustrated, he pushes the suit off his bed and smacked a hand on his face, the one covered in his cum. Icarus jumps up and is quick to wipe the spent on his hand and face. Disgusted and tired, Icarus threw the tissues off the bed and turned into his pillow, screaming muffled by the fabric.

 

He just jacked off to the thought of someone he has hated for nearly 17 years.

 

**Butch DeLoria.**

 

Sleep took over the angry boy before he could overthink.


	4. Lying is a Great Why to Deal With Your Problems (Not Really)

When Icarus woke up at around 6 in the morning, he felt the stickiness from his late night activities and his shitty cleanup job. He wanted more than anything to just remain in his bed and never get out but nevertheless, he got up and changed out of his suit he hadn’t taken off yesterday into a loose t-shirt and boxers. He stepped into the living room and saw a note laying on the counter with a box of Sugar Bombs already laid out in preparation. Icarus grabbed the box of cereal and picked up the note. It was from his father.

 

_Son,_

_Jonas needed me in the Clinic early today, we don’t have any scheduled appointments today so you can take the day off. Amata was looking for you yesterday after you left but I sent her off since you seemed upset. I’m always here if you need to talk bud, I hope you know that._

_Love, Dad_

 

Icarus smiled at the heartfelt note and shoved a hand full of cereal in his mouth. He was grateful that his father understood the difficult situation with Amata. He taught the young man to always live his life the way he wanted but being down in the vault meant he would have to marry a woman and have kids, no matter his sexuality. They both made the decision to keep quiet about it, figuring it was better to try and fake it rather than deal with the backlash of the vault community. Butch and his friends never made it easy, it seemed like they had rooted out the lie but Icarus knew every time they used some homophobic slur it was just too get under his skin, not because they actually knew. Speaking of Butch, it reminded him of his unscheduled hair appointment with his very tormentor, even though things had been very different between the two over the past week.

 

And Icarus did masturbate to his smell yesterday…

 

He felt a burn of embarrassment and swiftly made his way to the showers to try to ignore the gross feeling in his belly.

 

\--

 

8’o clock rolled around and Icarus got off his bed. After finishing his earlier morning, cold shower he just returned to bed in nothing but a towel. Something strangely enjoyable about being free of clothes and being lazy just made Icarus feel free of the societal walls that held him in. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a clean vault suit, his last clean one actually, he’ll have to do laundry soon. Just as he finished pulling on his suit when a knock came to the main door. Throwing his towel under his bed, Icarus ran to the door and opened it to Amata standing excitedly at the door. Before he could even give her a smile, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. He barely even realized she was talking from the sudden shock of the gesture of affection.

 

“Took you long enough you idiot, I thought I was going to go alone! Although I do hate when my dad interjects his way into my life, I’m actually grateful this one time. I’m thinking red and black, what about you? I know it’s harder to get suits than dresses but I’m sure I can convince someone to-” Icarus cut her off but gently pushing her back. “What are you talking about Amata?” She huffed but showed him a note which he took from her. It was very crisp save for a fold in the middle and the writing on it was a beautiful cursive.

 

_My Dearest Amata,_

_I know I’ve been acting a fool as of late. Things have been difficult but I have been wrong to neglect you, as a gesture of apology I would ask for your hand to the Dance in 2 weeks time. I shall do my best to make up for lost time and fix my foolishness, please allow me the pleasure of taking you._

_Yours forever, Icarus_

 

Icarus definitely didn’t write this, there were so many signs that point that the 17-year-old did not write it. First and most obvious, the overly dramatic writing definitely didn’t fit his usual writing, but his own does rather have the flare for the dramatic. Secondly, his handwriting could never reach the level of smoothness that the note held, his dad claimed he had “Doctor’s Handwriting” messy and almost unreadable at times. And Lastly, Icarus didn’t fucking write the note, he didn’t have time and didn’t even want to go to the festival with Amata. He looked up at his friend who had a shining smile on her face, he needed to stop this somehow.

 

“Amata…” Seeing her so happy, much different from how she’s been regarding him as of late. Icarus sighed out and buried his face in the unoccupied hand. “I’m glad you accepted…” He muttered quietly but apparently, she heard and squealed loudly, throwing her arms around him. Icarus didn’t hug back but she didn’t seem to care. Amata pulled away, snatching her note out of his hand, kissing his cheek and running off, saying something about needing to figure out their clothes. The younger leaned on the doorway, huffing out some air that seemed lodged in his throat. He looked to his pip boy.

 

8:25

 

He still needed to go get his haircut… By Butch… Icarus felt the burning feeling of guilt in his as he remembered his late night activities. Shaking his head, he straightened up and headed towards the barber.


	5. If I Jump, You Are Coming With Me.

As Icarus made his way to the other side of the vault, he spotted the Overseer making his way to his office. Although he tried his best, Icarus was unable to avoid his best friend’s dad. He let out an overly loud laugh before beckoning the young man over, who reluctantly met halfway with the older man.

 

“Icarus! My boy! I heard you asked Amata to the dance, very nicely done if I may say.” The younger man raised his eyebrow suspiciously, they had a talk when Icarus went and failed to give Ellen her medication, about Amata and how she didn’t have a date for the dance. Now that he thinks about it, Icarus really didn’t say much that entire conversation besides a ‘hello’ and ‘I really need to leave sir.’, not that he usually gets much into conversations between him and the Overseer. “Uh, yes sir.” The older man had a wide smile on his face and slapped the other on the back causing him to stumble forward. “There’s a good man! I would love to talk some more but I’m afraid the job of the Overseer never stops!” He seemingly bounced his way back to his office and it wasn’t until he disappeared behind his door the Icarus made his way to the barbershop.

 

_8:45_

 

The young man checked his pip boy as soon as he walked through the door, he heard a noise come from the back room. Icarus looked up and saw the shop was empty, with Butch nowhere to be found. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth before clearing his throat loudly, hoping it would attract attention from whoever was in the back room. Butch walked out carrying a box of what looked to be hair dye, seemingly not noticing the younger man standing awkwardly as he set the box on a nearby table and began rummaging through it. Icarus cleared his throat again. Butch spun around in shock before relaxing and placing a hand on his hip.

 

“Jeez Numbnuts, could’ve said ya know ‘Hello’ or something. What took you so long?”

 

Icarus shook his head dismissively, not really wanting to tell Butch anything which only earned him an eye roll from the older of the two. “Whatever, get in one of the chairs.” Awkwardly, the other man made his way to a barber chair, careful to keep his eyes glued to the ground. He heard shuffling around him and saw out of the corner of his eye Butch moving behind him, the younger boy shifted in his seat uncomfortably. A warm hand was placed on his shoulder, causing Icarus to jump and tense which earned an annoyed sigh from the other. “I’m not gonna hurt you dumbass, calm down.” In the back of his mind, Icarus acknowledged it wasn’t about him hurting him, it was about what the younger of the two did last night, how he had imagined those very hands on his body in a not so innocent way. Once again Icarus began to worrily chew on his bottom lip but Butch didn’t seem to notice, distracted by setting up his shears and scissors. The younger boy let out a sigh before straightening up and looking into the mirror.

 

His hair was messy, he had forgone putting it up and even though he had showered, it curled wildly and basically unmanageable. It was a red mess that just sat on top of his head, Icarus brushed a strand that had fallen into his face when he felt Butch’s fingers begin to card through his hair. Although he could see Butch behind him from the mirror that action still shocked him and he saw a warm blush overtake his face. The older boy either didn’t notice or ignored Icarus and started playing with the hair. “What do you want to be done?” The younger of the two shrugged, he knew little to nothing about cutting hair and sorta just let whoever was cutting it figure it out, be it his father or the old barber. Butch clicked his tongue before turning Icarus chair to face him and defensively, the younger one blocked his face by throwing up his arms. The older of them rolled his eyes and gently pulled Icarus’ arms down, a flash what seemed to be hurt went across his face. “You’re jumpy, you know that?” Icarus looked away in embarrassment, Butch still had a grip on his wrist.

 

“You gotta tell me what you want me to do Nosebleed, I’m not just gonna cut wildly and you try to beat me up for fucking it up.”

 

The younger boy snorted out a laugh and looked back up at the other. “You are literally like 50 pounds heavier than me and probably 4 inches taller, the odds aren’t in my favor even if I am pissed.” Butch rolled his eyes and finally let go of Icarus’ wrists, folding his arms across his chest. “We’ve proven that doesn’t really matter, haven’t we?” This was the first time either of them had brought up the fight, although it was very discreet. Before Icarus could even open his mouth to respond he was spun around to look back in the mirror and Butch started playing with his hair.

 

“So whaddya wanna do with this Numbnuts?”

 

Icarus looked at the reflection in the mirror, trying to keep his eyes off Butch. He had never really had the nerve to change his hair, his dad always said it reminded him of his mother’s hair. Like most things in his life, he was afraid of change and was afraid of upsetting his father but a strange flare of defiance set in his stomach. He had done a lot of things against what his dad hadn’t wanted, fighting Butch, lying through his G.O.A.T and unbeknownst to Icarus’ father, kissing Butch. Feeling the other’s fingers card through his hair, Icarus let out a slow breath before speaking.

 

“Something different,” He relaxed into the chair. “I like having long hair but I hate the upkeep of all the hair under it and,” he bit his lip, Butch didn’t say anything just watched him through the mirror as if waiting for him to finish. “I want to dye it.” The older of the two nodded before pulling his hand away and turning towards his tools. “Well, we gotta cut first before we talk about coloring.” Butch turned back with a hair tie and shears in one hand, the other pulled back enough hair to be able to have a smooth bun but he let some hang low. “I’ll shave the rest of this off, make sure you can still pull it up keep your weird ass style going.” Icarus chuckled, turning his head gently to see the style in his head before letting out a tense sigh and nodding. The older boy gave him a strange look but said nothing, putting the hair up and getting the shears ready and started.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Yes.”

 

\--

 

Icarus felt a nudge to his side and opened his eyes. Butch was standing to the side, preparing to peel off the foil that covered the tips of his hair. The younger boy had decided instead of completely getting rid of his red hair, they dyed the tips black and put some black highlights in various locations. The older boy made Icarus tip his head down to check some of the dye, he studied the ground and mess in front of his eyes. His hair still littered the ground from where they had cut it nearly an hour ago, Butch said he would clean it up while they waited for the dye to do its job but they ended up talking and it wasn’t till the alarm on his pip boy went off that Butch realized it was too late.

 

“Alright c’mon, gotta wash the dye out.”

 

Butch walked towards the sinks, Icarus following slowly. The older boy gestured to one of the sinks and Icarus sat at the corresponding chair, tipping his head back to prepare for the rinsing. Butch stepped to his head, as he started the water he pulled away the foil covering the younger boy’s head. It was kind of relaxing when Butch started washing out the dye, messaging it out of Icarus’ hair. A few minutes passed when the older boy pulled away and the younger had to suppress a whine that tried to crawl out of his throat. Icarus pulled himself up and failed to realize Butch had thrown him a towel before it hit his face causing the other boy to laugh. “You must suck at sports Numbnuts, guessing you didn’t ask to be the catcher on the G.O.A.T?” The younger boy chuckled and began wringing out his hair, still weirded out by the strange feeling of the bottom of his hair shaved off. “I would have picked, ‘I can’t play any position and can barely walk on my own two feet so no point in being in the soccer team, can’t I just stay in my room?’ option but it wasn’t on our edition of the test I’m sad to say.” Butch rolled his eyes playfully before he began cleaning up the mess of the dye job and what use to be Icarus’ hair. He gestured to the mirror nearby.

 

“You can go ahead and look, your hair will just be lighter when it drys out.”

 

Icarus paused for a moment. He hadn’t looked at it after Butch finished cutting it, said he wanted to see the full product before he backs out of it. The older boy seemed to notice his hesitation and let out an annoyed groan. He dropped the tools he had in his hand and gripped Icarus by the shoulder, pushing him towards the mirror and placing Icarus in front of it. He couldn’t help the gentle gasp that fell past his lips.

 

Icarus hair was drying but still wet enough to be slicked down. Instead of the wild hair hanging out everywhere like he was used to, it was shaved into a “fade” as Butch had called it but while most of his hair remained his bloody dark red, the tips and some highlights held a rich black to them. It was breathtaking in a strange way to see his hair no longer the similar style he had his entire life. He brought his hands up to imitate putting his hair up into a bun, Icarus looked more clean cut with it differently, more doctorly if he willed. He glanced over to Butch who, while look uninterested, had a glint of questioning in his eyes.

 

“Whaddya think Nosebleed?”

 

The younger man turned around to face Butch, smiling happily.

 

“It’s amazing Butch, thank you.”

 

A red envelope Butch’s face but he still didn’t look away, stammering out something that sounds like ‘Of course it is.’ but Icarus hadn’t noticed on account of looking down at the other’s lips. In the position, they were now in. Icarus boxed in against the mirror and Butch was, although different from when that kissed, something right out of a fantasy. A silence overcame the two as they just stared at each other. A bold rush overcame Icarus and before his mind could react, he pushed forward, obviously trying for a kiss but this time he waited for Butch to responded, either with a fist or lips.

 

It was with lips.


	6. A Time To Remember, A Night To Regret

They were shockingly soft against Icarus’, who were chapped due to his uncaring for them. The younger boy could really smell Butch’s aftershave and couldn’t stop the shiver that went through his spine. Being this close to him made Icarus light headed with desire and happiness, his cheeks burned deeply with something he couldn’t determine as embarrassment or lust? The older boy pulled back slowly but still close enough that both boys were breathing the same air. Their eyes both meet, Icarus searching for any sign of regret but he didn’t have time to find anything before he found Butch’s lips on his again and him being pushed into the mirror behind him. These kisses were ferocious, much different from the kisses beforehand. Icarus could only grab onto the older boy’s stupid leather jacket and try to pull him closer. An involuntary moan slipped passed the younger boy’s lips, only encouraging Butch to press his tongue into Icarus’ mouth, exploring it and almost mapping it out. Icarus felt Butch’s hands, which had wandered down to his hips, grip harder and Icarus could just feel the bruising but that only encouraged the other boy to push against Butch more.

 

There was no rhythm to any of this, only an insistent push and pull from each boy. It wasn’t till Butch pulled away to breathe that Icarus mind caught up with the rest of him. The older boy rested his forehead on his own, eyes closed and breathing heavily. Icarus just watched him, breathing in the same air as him. Butch opened his eyes and the younger boy saw the slightest of twitches on his lips, almost a smile but gone far too quick to really know. Icarus would be lying if he said none of this was affecting his lower region and he definitely didn’t have a raging hard one. The other boy opened his mouth to speak but they heard fast approaching footsteps coming towards the barber shop. In a panic, Icarus launched towards Butch with his fists, tackling him down to the ground to make it seem as if a fight had broken out. Butch, surprisingly, caught on pretty quick and began fighting back, or he really was trying to fight off the younger man.

 

Officer Gomez barged into the shop, weapon in hand. He immediately spotted the two and rushed over, pushing Icarus off Butch. Icarus felt his knuckle bleeding from cutting them on Butch’s teeth, the pain somehow helping to reroute his blood from his dick to his head. Gomez had pulled Butch up, locking his hands behind him before turning to the younger man. “What the hell happened?” Icarus looked over at the older boy, who blatantly ignored him and back to the officer. “Argument broke out, we decided to end it with fists.” Gomez pulled a face. “Who swung first though?” Icarus bit his lip, he realized they were wetter from the messy kisses he and Butch had shared. “Honestly I don’t even remember.” The older man looked between the two boys before sighing out and gesturing to Icarus. “Alright, you both are gonna sit in a cell for a while.” Icarus nodded, allowing himself to be cuffed before being pushed out of the shop. Butch leaned over to him when Officer Gomez wasn’t looking.

 

“Told ya, 50 pounds don’t matter.”

 

\--

 

Icarus’ dad was not happy when he picked up his son from the vault jail. He shared pleasantries with the Officers, even with the DeLoria’s but Icarus knew he was in for it when they got back home.

 

However before they had left, Butch had cornered the younger boy and whispered into his ear ‘Keep your door unlocked, I’ll be back at 12.’. The thought of whatever that was going to lead to made Icarus want to scream out happily but he needed to play the part of shameful son first.

 

As soon as they got into their residents, Icarus’ father let out a long sigh. The boy couldn’t help but notice the pang of guilt that had run through his spine. They weren’t even fighting, yet, they had to pretend to be to keep the prying eyes of the vault from descending on him. Plus if Icarus was going to be assigned as Amata’s husband one day, having a fling with a man, Butch Deloria no less, probably wouldn’t bode well.

 

“I have things to finish up at the clinic,” His father turned around with a stone cold look on his face, it spoke volumes about how angry he was at his son but for some reason was not letting it out. “I might not be back, there’s a surgery scheduled for tomorrow and because of your actions today I am not going to let you assist.” Icarus had completely forgotten about the surgery of Paul Hannon Sr. It was a minor tumor removal, nothing larger than a pea but Icarus had been excited to sit in on his first surgery, he wasn’t as disappointed as he thought he would be, considering he apparently had new plans for the night. He answered with a ‘Yes sir.’ and watched as his father left frustrated.

 

Icarus waited for his father to leave his sight to let out his happy squeal, much like a schoolgirl. Everything felt completely unreal, he was half expecting himself to wake up but even if it was a dream he wanted it to keep going. The young boy caught a glimpse of his reflection in a mirror hanging over their couch. His vault suit was disheveled from Butch’s manhandling and from sitting in the cell. Icarus checked his pip boy.

 

_10:57_

 

He had an hour but he knew he couldn’t shower in three minutes and be back before his curfew. He probably shouldn’t risk getting in trouble and making his dad even more anger. Icarus rushed to his room, shuffling through his drawer of endless dirty vault suits before he found exactly what he was looking for. Excitedly he pulled out a pair of jeans, a gift from his last birthday from his dad although he wouldn’t tell Icarus how he had got them. He also pulled out a grey shirt, one of the ones he always wore under his vault suit. Icarus shuffled out of the nasty vault suit, threw it back into the dresser (along with all his other dirty laundry under his bed, including his cum stained one) and started to pull on his jeans when he paused for a moment.

 

If this evening was going in the direction he was hoping, Icarus wanted to do something to surprise Butch, make him stop in a good way. He slipped off the halfway on jeans, along with his underwear before slipping the jeans back on. Not exactly as scandalous as a woman wearing lingerie but for a sexually repressed teenager like Icarus, it was… dirty. Once he buttons the jeans, he could feel every stretch and light touch from the clothing. When he ran his hands along his dick, he could feel the fluttering touch much more than if he had left his underwear on. Icarus threw the underwear in with the dirty clothes before turning to his nearby mirror, covered by a blanket by the young boy himself. Self concisely, he pulled it away, making sure to keep his eyes down. Icarus wasn’t a fan of staring at himself in the mirror but he needed to know if it was obvious that he had no underwear on underneath.

 

Everything looked perfectly normal, Butch wouldn't be able to tell unless he touched him. Hopefully he would and wasn’t planning this to just attack and expose Icarus but the younger boy made himself look on the bright side even if half of his brain fully disagreed. He pulled his hair back into a tight bun, the haircut and highlights were a good idea they blended together extremely well.

 

As he finished up the bun, he heard a knock at the door. Icarus glanced down at his pip boy with suspicion.

 

_11:08_

 

It couldn’t be Butch unless the other decided to come early but Icarus had a suspicion that wasn’t it. Carefully he approached the front door and opened it only to be greeted by his best friend. Amata was standing outside, hands on her hips and still dressed from the day. Her vault suit zipper was farther down again. Icarus blinked before giving her a shy smile. “Hey, Amata…” She glared at him, making him feel a foot shorter than her than the inch he really was. “What the hell happened?! My father told me you were locked up for fighting Butch! What did the fucker do!? I swear. I’ll kill him myself-” The younger boy cut her off with a swift hug, wanting her to keep her voice down. “Sorry,” he whispered gently into Amata’s ear to get her to relax. “I honestly don’t know what happened, we both are to blame.” Icarus pulled away, keeping his hands on her shoulders to keep her from lashing out. Amata signed and nodded, there was still some fight in her eyes but the younger boy knew she was more in control now. He went to pull his hands away when she grabbed them and pulled him outside, which Icarus responded by pulling back. “What are you doing?” His eyes darted along the hallway, sure to keep an eye out for any officers. Amata rolled her eyes and tried to pull him back out. “C’mon, let’s go hang out at my place,” She leaned forward, purposely showing off her breasts in an intimate manner. “I have some ideas on what we can do.” Icarus pulled away quickly, folding his arms close to his chest and looking away. “I don’t want to risk getting in trouble Amata. My dad’s already really mad at me.” The older girl let out a frustrated groan before turning on her heels and running off. Icarus could hear her sniffles as she rushed down the hall. He just shook his head and went back inside, allowing the door to close behind him. He felt guilty for not being able to give Amata what she wants from him, he felt guilty for disappointing his father but he couldn’t shake the excited feeling of Butch coming in an hour to indulge in his guilty feelings with… he wasn’t sure but he knew it would be something good.

 

\--

 

_ 12:58 _

 

Icarus laid on his bed, he should’ve known this was a joke.

 

For the last hour he had been checking his pip boy every 2 minutes, just watching the numbers tick by while he waited but the closer the hour came to ending the worse he would feel. Of course Butch was playing him, it was all a rouse to expose him for being gay even if it was at his own expense. No one would care if their hair dresser kissed a guy, they would worry about the future Overseer’s husband being a queer and unable to bare a future child due to his DNA writing or whatever. He looked down at his pip boy one last time.

 

_ 12:59 _

 

Icarus was about to give up and cry himself to sleep when three swift knocks had him falling out of bed and rushing to the door. Cautiously he opened the door incase it was Amata or his father, who wouldn’t have knocked but whatever, but he didn’t even have time to see who was there before he felt a body push into his and warm lips connect with his. 

 

Definitely Butch.

 

The younger boy barely managed to close the door before he was pushed into a nearby wall, lips attacking his with pure lust powering them. It was quite easy to entice moans out of Icarus as Butch kissed him feverously. “Sorry,” He had grunted out between kisses. “My ma wouldn’t go to bed.” Icarus only respond with a mildly uninterested noise before he began pushing back on the older boy, wanting to give the same attention he was getting. Butch let out a surprised grunt and tried to fight back for dominance but Icarus wasn’t going to back down without a fight. As their tongues battled it out, Icarus belatendly noticed the older boy’s hands had begun creeping down from his shoulders to rest on his hips, gripping them just like he was in the salon. The younger boy clung to Butch’s leather jacket, needing something to hold onto. He pulled away to breath, Butch doing the same but not too far away. Icarus felt like a mess.

 

“Butch…” It was a whine pitch but seemed to do something to the older boy as he gripped harder onto the younger boy’s hips. “What is it Nosebleed?” Icarus huffed a laugh at the nickname but used one of his hands to gesture to the window that viewed into the hallway. “Someone might see.” Butch looked over and clicked his tongue in annoyance before turning back to Icarus. He didn’t say anything but lifted the younger boy up and reflexly, Icarus wrapped his legs around his hips but that seemed to be the idea. 

 

They managed to make it into Icarus’ room, kisses and all before Butch dropped him onto his bed. Icarus laid his legs out, throwing his head back as his jeans brushed against his growing erection.  A very low moan was pulled out of his mouth and the older boy climb onto top of him, letting his hands roam around the smaller other. Butch had pulled away from Icarus’ lips, much to his annoyance, but they began to nibble and kiss along his jawline. The younger boy let out a grunt as Butch got to more sensitive skin.

 

“N-no marks.”

 

The older boy pulled up to Icarus face with this playful smirk on his lips, the were swollen from the harsh kisses they were sharing.

 

“Embarrassed by me Nosebleed? I’m hurt.”

 

Icarus rolled his eyes and pushed himself up to meet their lips, unintentionally brushing his cock against Butch’s leg which was between his. The moan that the older boy swallowed as they kissed was raspy, even with his mouth muffled. Butch pulled away and didn’t allow Icarus to follow, much to his disappointment. The older of the two paused, staring hard at Icarus. The younger one froze, fearing that Butch was starting to regret this and was going to run, leaving him wanting and forgotten. He wasn’t expecting him to move his thigh to apply more pressure to his dick but apparently there was a lot Icarus didn’t know about Butch. Icarus responded with a whine, his body bucking back up against the pressure. The older man had this unreadable grin on his face and moved back down to kissing along the other’s jaw before pressing a kiss against his ear.

 

“ _ Shi- _ , I didn’t realize a,  _ fuck _ , guy could be so pretty like this.”  

 

A red blush overcame Icarus’ face and when he tried to look away Butch pulled him back into a kiss. Everything about this was becoming too… involved with emotions. This wasn’t meant to be a “loving” exchange, Icarus wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be but he knew he couldn’t look into as anything but a one time thing. In an attempt to push the over thinking thoughts away, the younger boy grabbed Butch’s hand and started guiding it to his thighs, obvious where he was trying to lead it to. The older boy pulled away from Icarus’ lips, eyes drawn to the actions happening between their legs. The moan that left Butch’s lips had the other tighten his grip on his hand, trying to stop his hips from bucking forward. 

 

Taking initiative, Butch wandered his hands up to the waist line of Icarus jeans and began trailing his fingers under the fabric. As he did, an undignified gasp left his lips while his eyebrows shot up. “Jesus Nosebleed, you ain’t got,  _ fuck _ , underwear on?  _ Shit _ .” Icarus laughed breathlessly, moving one of his hands to grab the jacket the older boy was wearing and the other hand to his jeans, slowly unbuttoning them. He felt Butch pause again and looked at him with an annoyed/confused face.

 

“What?”

 

The older of the two shifted a little, eyes slowly moving up to look at Icarus. “I don’t know what to do...” The younger boy let out an unintellinal groan before setting himself up and little but still kept his legs between Butch’s. “You’ve jacked off before right?” The words felt weird leaving the usually uniformed and shy boy but the other boy seemed mildly intrigued by it. “No, not at all Numbnuts.” Icarus ignored the sarcastic response and tried to focus on his words and not the hand that was trailing along his crotch. “It’s like that, but uh-  _ fuck _ with my dick in-instead of,  _ Shitttt _ , yours.” Butch sure as hell didn’t make the explanation come out easy but once the younger man finished, the other was staring at him intently. “So like,” Butch pulled down the rest of Icarus’ jeans, his cock jutting out confidently, pre cum dripping from the head. The older boy trailed his finger along the underside of it, earning a loud, drawn out moan from Icarus. “ _ This? _ ” The younger boy nodded rapidly, grateful for skin to skin contact. Lips descended on his harshly, more bites and fastening kisses.

 

While Butch was giving his dick rapid attention, Icarus began to unzip his vault suit, driven with the need to give back. He pushed off the older boy’s jacket, throwing it to the floor before shedding off his vault suit, just enough to show his boxers. There was a wet spot forming on them and that made Icarus feel better, that Butch wasn’t just faking this, he was feeling something too. The younger boy felt the other falter with the rhythm he was showing Icarus cock as he dragged a finger along the clothed member of Butch. Icarus couldn’t help the breathy chuckle as the older boy bucked back and growled out something to the tune of ‘Hurry the fuck up’, which the younger one followed. He slowly pulled down Butch’s underwear, just enough so his dick would stand out. Icarus had to bite down on his lip to stop a whine from slipping out, eyes trained to the other boy’s member. Pre-cum was starting to bead of its head and the younger boy felt his mouth water at the sight of it.

 

There were so many things Icarus wanted to do, fantasy filing his mind but he already knew he was too close to the edge to try any of them. From Butch, who had a spit slicked hand curling around Icarus’ dick, giving him the attention he had been deprived from to the build up of the interaction, Icarus knew he wasn’t going to last. The younger boy shot his hand out to try and give back the pleasure Butch was giving him, nerves edging him on to do a good job. Icarus felt the older boy moan into his mouth, causing the younger one to smile through the messy kisses. “ _ Jesus _ Christ Nosebleed, I’m gonna-” Butch couldn’t even finish his sentence before coming between the two of them, moan lowly from the back of his throat. Icarus couldn’t help the breathy chuckle before he followed the other boy off the edge, feeling the hand around his cock speed up to get every bit of spent out of him. Icarus collapsed onto his back, not realizing he had been lifting himself up on his other arm. Butch threw out his arm to catch himself before he could fall onto the younger man, his arm was shaking for the exhaustion. A silence overcame the two as they tried to catch their breaths, eyes avoiding the others.

 

Finally, Butch cleared his throat, Icarus’ eyes wandered a moment before looking at the older boy. “So uh…” The younger boy bit his bottom lip, waiting for Butch to loudly announce this was the only time or scream out to people hiding in the hallway about what had just happened. This wasn’t going to mean anything, Icarus knew that but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to hurt. The 1st person Icarus had been with being Butch DeLoria and the reason he goes “missing” in the walut would also be Butch DeLoria for exposing him to be gay and no longer compatible with Amata.

 

“When do you want to get together again? 

 

Oh

 

**_Oh_ **

 

Icarus blinked slowly, trying to map out what exactly that would mean. Apparently he took too long because Butch had taken his silence as rejection and pulled away quickly, stammering out something but before he could leave the bed Icarus grabbed him by the shoulders and panically smashed their lips together. The older boy relaxed into the kiss, letting the younger man take gentle control of the situation. After a few slow moments, Icarus pulled away. He rested his forehead on Butch’s, remnant of the moments before their first kiss, before he spoke.

 

“I want to but we have to be careful,” He opened his eyes to see piercing blue eyes staring back at him. “I know somewhere we can meet during the day and at night but will just have to schedule it.” Icarus pulled away from Butch, exhaustion had started to set in and he couldn’t help the yawn that followed. The older boy smiled at him before getting up from the bed, much to Icarus dismay. “Afraid I can’t stay the night, got a client in the morning and I don’t think your old man would want to know why I was in your room.” The younger boy chuckled tiredly, watching as Butch used Icarus shirt to clean himself before tossing it to the younger boy and zipping up his vault suit. After cleaning himself up, Icarus threw the shirt under his bed and let himself lay back. Before he could get comfortable, Butch jerked him up, face to face. The smile on the older boy’s face seemed satisfied but before the younger boy could speak their faces were mashed together. It was one of their messier kisses but Icarus loved it but when he tried to deepen it Butch pulled away. He smiled again before letting go of the younger boy and walking towards the door.

 

“You smell like sex Nosebleed.”


	7. The Day After

Icarus was able to get up early enough to run to the showers and back without running into anyone, namely his father. The boiler had stopped working, Andy was trying to fix it but Icarus ended up taking a freezing shower but his spirits remain high. There was no evidence on his body of last night's activities, smart but disappointing. However, no matter how much soap the younger boy tried to use, Butch’s aftershave never left his body.

 

Icarus was on the couch, going through his medical notes when his dad walked in. Still fearing his wrath, the younger boy kept his head down and focused on his notes. His dad just passed by him, focused on getting some form of nutrition, Icarus was used to it after his dad had a surgery. Believing he was in the clear, the younger boy relaxed into the couch, lazily flipping through his notes but heard his father clear his throat.

 

“Icarus? Can you come here?”

 

It was a command dressed up as a question, something Icarus’ dad did when he was trying to mask his emotions around his son. Slowly, the younger boy lifted off the couch and made his way towards the kitchen, every step earned a pacing of his breathing to go up. By the time he made it into the kitchen, he sounded like he was having an asthma attack and Icarus had to stop himself before he passed out.

 

His father was facing away from the door, back hunched over what looked to be a can of Cram, a cup of coffe and a hand carding through his own hair. Icarus felt a pang of sadness hit him, his father must be exhausted from the surgery and Icarus’ unruliness not that his son was ever really a huge trouble maker but the young boy knew it weighed down on his dad.

 

“Sit, please.”

 

Timidly, Icarus took the seat from across his father. Getting a better look, the young boy could tell his dad wasn’t in good shape. There were heavy bags under his eyes, more wrinkles set across his cheeks and there tint from his purple eyes was darker. Both his father and Icarus could tell when something was wrong with the other by looking at their matching eyes. Their purples would become darker, sadder in a way.

 

“Are you okay Dad?”

 

Icarus watched as he Dad looked up at him then back at his food, taking slow bites. The younger boy just watched his father, looking for any symbol that would clue in on his father’s mood. Suddenly the older man stood up, grabbing his food and coffee with him, moving towards their home’s exit. Icarus scrambled to follow, knocking over two chairs on his way but he didn’t care much. Icarus’ father stood at the door, waiting for his son. As the younger boy stumbled in the room, his dad cleared his throat.

 

“You’ll be grounded for the rest of the day, you can start back up tomorrow,”

 

Icarus opened his mouth to speak but his father interrupted.

 

“We are having exams for some of the other kids in the vault so be prepared to see some of them during the day,”

 

Once again the younger boy tried to talk but his dad gave him a glare which shut his mouth quiet quick. His dad gave on last sigh before turning around, shooting his son one last look.

 

“You two are going to have to find a different place to meet up, I’m not going to sleep on the clinic floor anymore just so you and him can do whatever,”

 

A huge flood of embarrassment over came Icarus and a desire to melt into the floor became a number 1 need. He could feel himself stuttering out incoherent words, trying to deny the truth but his dad just chuckled and started out the door but paused and turned around.

 

“Just be careful with that one, you never know what he might do.”

 

And with that the older man left, leaving his son a pool of flustered mess.

\--

Icarus made his way to the cafeteria, his stomach growling for lunch. He had spent most of the morning trying not to fluster over his father comments, trying not to fluster over his memories of last night and trying not to fluster over his medical notes, which were failing to distract him. As he approached the cafeteria, Icarus saw Amata marched out of it in her ‘Amata’ way. She noticed him, who gave a shy wave, and stridded off in the opposite way. Icarus just signed, he knew she would come around eventually and chasing after her would just make her more mad.

 

The young boy slide into a booth, playing on his pip boy till Andy gave him a plate of peas, handing him a bag of frozen ones as well. Icarus had a strange food desire for frozen peas, eating them had a calming effect on him. As Icarus finished off his plate of cooked peas when a warm body slid next to his. Just hearing the crinkling of the leather was all the young boy needed to know who it was.

 

“Butch.”

 

“Nosebleed.”

 

Hearing the nickname and thinking of the context from the night before, Icarus couldn’t suppress the chuckled that passed his lips. Butch nudged him gently a moved himself closer, he would never do this in front of anyone so Icarus knew they had to be alone. A warm breath tickled his ear as the older boy spoke to him.

 

“Got a place? Feelin’ lonely over here.” Icarus blushed but nodded, grabbing his peas before slipping out of the other side of the booth. He looked up at the taller boy who was just grinning with a mischievous look in his eyes. The younger boy just rolled his eyes and made his way out of the Cafeteria, feeling a gentle pat on his ass as he made his way out.

 

The two of them snuck down to the Reactor, Butch wouldn't get in trouble being 18 and all but Icarus was still 17, even though he basically was treated like an adult he still was a kid in the eyes of the rules. Narrowingly missing Officer Gomez, the two made it to, as Icarus put it, ‘his little slice of heaven.’ “This is kind of lame Nosebleed. ”Icarus frowned as he set his bag down, leaning himself against the wall.

 

He hadn’t changed much from what his father had showed him for his tenth birthday, added a few pillows against some crates, a trunk to hid some of his personal things and a pile of books for when he needed a place to hid away. Icarus plotted himself down on a pillow before grabbing one of his book.

 

“You gotta better idea?”

 

Seemingly caught off guard by Icarus’ sass, Butch clicked his tongue, muttered something that sound like ‘Fucking asshole.’ before walking over towards the younger boy, sitting himself down next to him. The younger boy ignored the fluttering in his chest before opening his book and reading. Annoyingly, he could feel Butch reading over his shoulder.

 

“Whatcha reading?”

 

“The story of Icarus and Daedalus.”

 

Once again the older boy clicked his tongue before draping his arm around Icarus and pulling him closer so that he was resting on his chest. The younger boy’s heart rate rose and he swallowed harshly. “You named a character after you? That’s kinda lame Numbnuts.” Icarus chuckled and shook his head, his body beginning to relax against the bigger boy’s. “No, I was named after the character, you’ve never read this?” Icarus looked back into the bright blue eyes full of curiosity and a tint of embarrassment, Butch huffed. “Do I look like I do Nosebleed?” The younger boy turned back towards the book, really relaxing into the other and shrugging. “I dunno, you could be a genius faking it.” Butch didn’t say anything and the two fell into silence, reading the book. When Icarus tried to flip the page, a warm hand stopped his. “‘M not done yet.” The younger man just smiled and waited for Butch himself to turn the page.

 

The two stayed that way, reading the book, Butch had even rested his head on Icarus’ to be more comfortable until the older boy checked his pip boy and groaned. Icarus gave a questioning look. “I have an appointment in like 5 minutes.” The younger man signed before nodding and he began to pull away when Butch gently pulled back. A gentle kiss was placed on the shell of Icarus ear, earning a soft gasp. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather stay here. Even reading with you is… nice. We don’t always gotta fuck around do we?” Icarus shook his head, leaning farther into the warmth of Butch. He was right, this was nice even if it was innocent reading together, much like Icarus and Amata would do when they were younger. Butch pushed Icarus away playfull before standing up to stretch. “But next time let’s do something more exciting, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to do that again.” The younger man turned around and smiled, nodding before dragging himself across his legs.

 

“Tonight?”

 

“Hell yeah, better be ready for the tunnel snake.”

 

“Oh god, don’t ever do that again.”

 

Icarus threw a pillow at him as he left to really send home the message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of the story written it’s just the matter of me remembering to publish. Thanks to the anonymous for reminding me to publish!


	8. A Painful Lie Hurts More When The Horrible Truth Comes to Light

Icarus just stared at himself in the mirror, almost to tears in the outfit he was staring at. The Dance thing was tonight and Amata was able to convince his father to let him go, even if the younger boy begged and pleaded for him to say no. It was going to be an absolute shit hole, he could already tell. He had ranted about it to Butch, screamed and even hit him so he wouldn’t break his knuckles on a wall again. Icarus expected Butch to get up and leave, but he never did. The older boy just let him air out his emotions, soothing the younger one when he became a mess of just tears and snot. Butch promised him that he would try to take Icarus away as soon as possible, promising a flurry of sweet nothings but he made the younger boy promise to at least make an appearance.

 

Thinking back on it, it was difficult for Icarus to believe any of this was actually happening. Butch and he had been messing around for almost 2 weeks now, became a scheduled thing off get together, jack each other off, read together, make out then leave only to meet again a couple hours later. Icarus desperately wanted to know what meant, if it was something meaningful or just a way for Butch to blow off steam. However, the way he would look at Icarus, kiss him tenderly and devote his attention to him, made the younger boy believe there had to be something more.

 

He had just finished trying to adjust his vest to not look stupidly long on him when Amata pranced into his room. Icarus could see out of the corner in the mirror she was wearing a matching dark red dress, almost as red as his hair. Speaking of which, still hadn’t put it up causing the older girl to huff playfully and make an attempt to fix it herself. She threw he small purse on his bed and went for his hair, the younger boy wincing as she pulled at it, sorta of like Butch would.

 

**Fuck.**

 

Icarus did not need that thought in his head right now, instead, he tried to focus on the two of their reflections. Amata was wearing makeup, something she always hated but according to her dad needed to ‘make a good appearance’ and look like a young lady. Icarus thought it was stupid, makeup shouldn’t define anyone because if it did Christine Kendall would be the goddamn queen of the vault with the amount of makeup that bitch wears. The younger boy could feel his face flushing in anger just thinking about her, she was Butch’s date so naturally, Icarus would be a little testy about her although Butch kept reassuring him it was just for looks and he felt the same way about Amata.

 

“You’re wearing your glasses?”

 

Another flushed went through Icarus’ face. Ever since he started being with Butch he was wearing them more and more, the older boy said it made him look good. Amata had picked up on it after a few days and always asked about it and he always gave the same lame excuse.

 

“I want to see better.”

 

The other just finished up with his hair and began brushing her fingers along the back of his neck causing the younger boy to jerk away. An awkward air overcame the two, Icarus looking away with a raging blush on his face and Amata with rage built into her face. It wasn’t until Icarus’ dad knocked on the door that the tension was cut.

 

“You two better head out, I want Icarus back before 11 and your cutting into that time.” The younger boy nodded vigorously before bolting out of the door, fidgeting by the front door as he waited for Amata. The clicking from her shoes clued Icarus into the fact she was mad but ignored it, ushered her out of the door and saying goodbye to his dad, who mouthed an “I’m sorry.” before closing the door behind the two.

 

The two teenagers made their way to the Atrium, Amata marching just slightly ahead of Icarus. He could see her glancing back to him every now and then but he made sure to keep his eyes off her and forward. This wouldn’t be bad if they were just going as friends, nothing romantic or even if Amata knew he was gay, it would be so simple. Icarus knew better than telling her though, not so much that she would tell but he was worried about her father finding out. He already believed the Overseer had suspicious, from late night talks to his father and probing Amata for information, it was too risky for his and his best friends safety, even if it really shouldn’t matter. Icarus knew the only reason it matter was with the hope that he and Amata would get married and have babies, being attracted to guys, specifically a bully barbers who is a gang leader would put certain problems on that plan.

 

They arrived at the Atrium, it was actually decorated pretty well. Vault colored streamers and balloons flooded the ceiling and a huge “CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES” sign hung above the Overseer office window. Icarus and Amata obviously arrived late to the party, their classmates all already scattered around, the girls all huddled together, the Tunnel Snakes and Christine leaning cooly along a wall. The young boy spotted Butch pretty quickly, he was being basically attacked by Christine who was placing kisses and bites all along his face and neck. Icarus felt his blood bubble, his fists clenching and his air speeding. He felt a hand rest on his and looked over at Amata who was giving him a concerned look.

 

“What’s up?”

 

Icarus opened his mouth than closed it, a frowning setting in place. Obviously he couldn’t way what was really wrong, exposing him and Butch was not a good plan because some slut wouldn’t keep her hands to herself. “Just not in the mood to see that,” the younger boy gestured to the two, “right now.” The older girl looked over to Butch and Christine before looking away and shaking her head. “Yeah, me either. Drink?” She gestured over to the table packed with at least a week's worth of rations but Icarus shook his head.

 

“I have a better idea.”

 

He reached his hand out and grabbed Amata’s, pulling her towards an empty spot in the Atrium. Icarus swung her around so they were facing, one hand still enclosed around another and the other laying gracefully on her waist. Even through the darkness, Icarus could see her face was a bright red. He took a few moments to get into the groove of the music before he began moving, dancing mindlessly and taking Amata with him. The younger boy felt the other tense when he first started stepping but she quickly realized what was happening and relaxed into the movements. The older girl was about half an inch taller than Icarus, her heels giving her about an inch more height than usual. It must’ve looked a little awkward but they still moved rather gracefully.

 

The younger man allowed himself to glance around the room at the others. The girls were watching in slight awe, Susie Mack even going over to Freddie Gomez to pout he wasn’t doing the same. Watching her, Icarus was able to get a look at Butch, who was moving Christine out of the way to get a look at him and Icarus couldn’t help the smirk that plastered his lips. He returned his attention to dancing, even smiling at Amata. She took it as a flirty smile, something it wasn’t, and pulled closer, trying to get the younger boy into a kiss. Luckily the song was ending and Icarus took the opportunity to spin her around before ending them in a gracious dip. Icarus pulled her up and before he even had a chance to talk, Amata was dragging him off. Slightly panicking, he tried to pull away but as he did the older girl looked back with a smile filled with lust.

 

Uh oh.

 

Icarus searched around for Butch, needing something to save him. Right before he was pulled out he managed to lock eyes with the older boy, who was still trying to fight off Christine and mouthed the words,

 

“Help me.”

\--

Icarus found himself pushed against a wall of an empty hallway. He could tell from the look in Amata’s eyes where this was going to go. He needed to stop it. “Amata-” He was cut off by he shoving their lips together. It was awful. Felt disgusting, like he was kissing his sister and he did his best to push her off. He knew what he had to do. Using all the force he could muster he shoved her off, making sure she was far enough to know he really didn’t want this. He couldn’t even say anything before Amata let out a wail.

 

“Why won’t you take me Icarus?! What the hell is wrong with me!?! Who have you been with?? Susie, Christine? What they do have that I don’t!?”

 

Watching his best friend break down, crying over him made Icarus want to cave and give her what she wanted, to play along but he knew better than that. He would just be leading her on and in the end that would hurt her worse. Icarus pulled her into a hug, realizing somewhere in the chaos she had lost her shoes and was shorter. He gently ran his hand through her hair, attempting to soothe her with soft hums. When she pulled away slightly, she rested her forehead on Icarus’.

 

“Icarus, please just kiss me.”

 

The younger boy breathed out slowly. “Amata,” He looked to her, seeing her eyes filled with tears and hurt. “I can’t.” She let out a frustrated moan and pulled away, burying her face into her hands. “WHY NOT?!?” Icarus let out a small breath and moved her hands from her face, looking at her with as gentle of a look as possible.

 

“Because I don’t like girls,”

 

A confused expression filled his friend’s face and Icarus let out another gentle sigh. Fear and anxiety filled his lower stomach, the need to run away was about to overtake his sense but he managed to fight it off in favor of helping his best friend understand. Even if it hurt himself in the process.

 

“I’m gay Amta.”

 

Icarus glanced up to his friend, realization poured into her face and she slowly pulled away. Icarus didn’t move, just set his arms to his side. He was searching the older girl’s face for any sort of clues to understand what she was feeling. It was till a somewhat mortified look overcame her face that Icarus tried to reach out, but she ran before he could even try to help her. He didn’t bother trying to go after her.

 

He leaned back on the wall behind him, gripping his hair, trying to get some sorta of relief from the pain in his heart. He pulled so much the rubber band holding his hair snapped apart, leaving it his hair to explode in a sense. Tears pricked his eyes when a soft voice spoke.

 

“Hey.”

 

The younger boy opened his eyes to see sharp blue eyes staring down at him, worry-filled them. More tears spilled out and Icarus began rambling out senseless words consisting of ‘Amata’, ‘fuck’ and ‘gay’ but he was cut off when Butch leaned in closer.

 

“Do you want to get out of here?”

 

Icarus blinked a couple of times, trying to clear his mind enough to understand what Butch was implying before rapidly nodded and pushing himself off the wall. He looked around the hallway to make sure it was clear before pulling the older boy into a passionate kiss, trying to get the taste of smoke to override the lingering taste of peppermint out of his mouth. He pulled away slowly before letting out a whine.

 

“Please.”

\--

Feeling the warmth of Butch, breathing in his ear, whispering sweet words as he helped Icarus to his climax, was intoxicating to the younger boy. He could barely smell the women's perfume that was clinging to Butch's body when they first arrived to the shooting range, it smelled like him not some second rate slut. The older boy bit gently into Icarus’ shoulder, causing him to finally topple over the edge, nearly screaming in pleasure. Butch followed him right after, the younger one could feel the hot cum splatter along the back of his body before collapsing onto the pillows under him, taking the older boy with him, Icarus landed in the pool of his spent but he found himself more focused on the soft kisses trailing up his back. A comfortable silence overcame the two, only the hum of the reactor to fill the emptiness. It wasn’t till Butch had reached Icarus’ neck, still planting kisses, that he spoke.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

The younger boy signed, turning his head to the side to look at Butch best he could. “I don’t know honestly.” The older boy nudged him, signaling for him to turn over, which he did. Before letting Icarus lay back down, Butch used his disgraded undershirt to clean him off and traded out the pillows for clean ones. The younger boy grunted out a ‘thank you’ before falling back down, allowing his hands to wander along Butch’s body.

 

There were purpling bruises along his neck, most would think it was from Christine last night but Icarus had made sure to go over each bite himself, making sure Butch knew who actually made them. Their little secret. The younger boy couldn’t help the small smile at the thought of these very public markings meaning a very secretive relationship, or whatever was going on between them, Icarus still wasn’t sure.

 

“Think she’ll tell?” A frown of thought over came Icarus. Would she? Sure Amata was mad, wouldn’t be the first time she was at Icarus but never has he told her anything so big. It would completely changed everything between them, he wasn’t stupid enough to believe this wouldn’t change their friendship. Half the reason they are friends is so they can get married and have kids. “No,” He paused for a moment, biting his lip in thought. “I really think she always suspected, her dad always has, but she liked me so much she didn’t really think about it.” Butch nodded before laying himself next to Icarus, pulling him in so they were cuddling. They had never laid like this, completely naked and so close but Icarus wasn’t going to complain. Whenever they did lay together however, the younger boy tended to fall asleep, tonight however, sleep seemed like a distraction. Instead he focused on letting his hands explore Butch’s body, map out every curve and bend on the artwork that was Butch. Icarus stifled a laugh at the thought.

 

“Have you told anyone else?” The younger man stiffened. He still hadn’t told Butch that his father knew what was going on between the two of them, was scared how he would react. Icarus let out a slow breath before letting his hands come to the other boy’s, sliding his between the older one’s. “My dad knows, he’s always kind of known. He doesn’t care.” Butch just nodded. Another silence overcame the two, Icarus had even closed his eyes and almost fell asleep when he heard Butch.

 

“I’m not gay.”

 

Icarus breathing stopped and he shot his eyes open. He knew this was just something for Butch to use, this was somehow a ploy to expose the other boy, to ruin his reputation and get him to disappear from the vault. It was all a fraud to play with his emotions and make him believe something was happening but only to prove all the rumors were true. No one would want to be treated by the faggot doctor, they could contract the gay. Butch must’ve noticed the younger boy’s panic because he pulled him closer and began kissing his face lightly.

 

“Hey, don’t mean I don’t like this. I like this a lot, I just... fuck-, I don’t know. It’s…” Icarus relaxed into Butch more, worry gone but curiosity of what he was trying to say made him perk up and give his full attention to the older boy. “Just what?” The younger boy noticed the reddening of the other one’s face, his eyes were focused on their hands, the older one’s fighting against Icarus’. “I like girls too, I guess.” Icarus paused for a moment before dragging his hands up to make Butch look at him, there was a strange shame there. The younger boy gave him a soft smile which managed to relieve some of the tension in the other boy’s face. “There’s nothing wrong with that Butch.” The boy frowned at that, snuggling closer to Icarus as if he would disappear form him if he talked anymore. “A-Are you sure? It don’t even got a name.” Icarus rested his head next to Butch’s, brushing the fallen hair out of his own face’s way. “You don’t necessarily need a label to go by but if you really want one, it’s called…” The younger boy had to think for a moment before smiling as he remembered. “Bisexual.” “Bisexual?” Butch used it, as if too see the taste was right. As Icarus watched him think, he started to drag one of his finger’s along the other’s face. “How do you know?” Icarus wasn’t too sure in what he meant.

 

If he was talking about the term itself, he had found it in a book when he was around 11, it talked about sexuality and gender and how anything but straight and cis was the devil and not good for the vault lifestyle. When Icarus dad found him in his bed with the book crying, he took the book from his son and buried it deep in their bookshelf, explaining to him how there was nothing wrong with him and all that stuff was normal. But if Butch was talking about knowing your sexuality, Icarus knew he couldn’t answer that question. Everyone found out in their own ways, no one could give them a set date and time when they would know if they were gay, straight or anything like that. He vaguely remembers that old book mentioning something about it but it had been such a long time. Icarus decided on answering the term question, the easier of the two.

 

“I found it in a book when I was younger, it was all about sexuality and stuff. My dad hid it from me but I can look for it if you want.”

 

From the look on Butch’s face, Icarus knew he hadn’t answered the question he wanted the younger boy too but he still nodded. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” Icarus was going to explain what the book was about but as he watched the older boy fall asleep, he couldn’t bring himself to try and wake him. They needed to leave and go back to their lying lives but feeling the slowing breaths of Butch on his face, the dying smell of sex and the gentle hum of the reactor, Icarus decided they could wait and was rocked to sleep by the warmth around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So life is messy with no real schedule I can follow and I have hit one of the worst writer's block so the updates will be scattered and may be like months before I publish chapters but I really want to keep this going because it is one of the longest stories that I have constantly came back to and wrote on. Sorry for the lackadaisical updates but I am trying, gonna have to bare with me here. Thank you for all the love though, it is super nice to look back on all the things I get on my stupid story bout to gays in love lmao


	9. You Can't Really Think No One Knows, Right?

Icarus placed the last of his work papers on the stacked pile on his desk. He felt his body yawn, drowsiness tempting him to leave early. He had woken up at 3 to the feeling of Butch getting his stuff together, mumbling something about the curfew for Icarus. The older boy basically had to get the other dressed because he was so tired, barely able to stand for himself. Butch almost walked him back to his home but Icarus refused, saying he was coherent enough to make it back. He ended up right outside his door, falling asleep and having to be dragged back in by his dad. He didn’t say anything about Icarus coming in way after his curfew and just let his son lay on their living room floor to sleep. He was awoken 3 hours later to get ready for his shift at the clinic, Icarus’ dad still didn’t say anything about his lateness. Luckily his dad wasn’t obvious to his son’s state of being and made sure he avoided giving the younger boy any patients, just sticking him with busy work. Icarus was adjusting the stack when he heard a soft knock on his office door, he glanced and felt his body freeze.

 

“Amata?”

 

The older girl gave a sad nod, trying to smile. She still had some remnants of her makeup from last night clinging her features. There were some tear streaks as well. Icarus felt a weight of guilt set in his stomach, he cleared his throat and sat up. “How can I help you?” He cringed at his awkward formalness, this was his best friend for damn sake! Not some patient that Icarus blindly talked to, she knew his secrets, she knew THE secret, but the younger boy still wasn’t sure what that meant. Amata made her way to the chair on the opposite side if Icarus’ desk, eyes staring down at her hands. “I wanted to talk about last night.” The boy’s leg began to bounce with anxiety, he was trying to grip into to somehow stop it.

 

“Oh.”

 

_Fuck_

 

He meant that to be a question, maybe if he played dumb Amata would leave it alone. But too late, either way, he couldn’t lie to Amata about that. He couldn’t just brush it off like it was nothing, it was something, a rather big something.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

 

Icarus signed out, folding his hands in his lap, staring at them. “I wanted to tell you but I wasn’t sure how to break it to you, it’s not something you just tell anyone. Especially down here? What if your dad found out? I didn’t want to risk your safety because I don’t like girls and-” “Not that,” The younger man looked up, confused but saw Amata smiling and felt his body ease up just a little. “You and Butch, not something I would have ever thought would happen but.” She shrugged but Icarus was twisted up in horror. “You know!?” The older girl smiled and nodded, laughing loudly when Icarus buried his face into his hands. “I always knew you didn’t like girls Icarus, I mean when we were like 7 you had the biggest crush on Jonas.” The younger boy’s ears buried but he quickly looked up. “But what about all the flirting you were doing??” Amata rolled her eyes at that and leaned back. “My dad had someone subtly ask me to try and get you to be with me, get any kind of reaction. A lot of it was acting, especially last night so don’t worry about any of the crying and screaming.” She smiled, all proud of herself but Icarus was still horrified. “Who told you?” The older girl pressed her lips together, mimicking a lock and key on her lips. The younger boy knew he would have to coax it out of her but he was more concerned about how she knew about him and Butch. “But uh, how do you know about…” Icarus was hoping she would catch on to what he was implying. Amata nodded, she shifted around in her chair and leaned forward. “You need to do a better job of scouting out before you two lock lips.” When she pulled back, there was an evil grin are her face while the younger boy just buried his face back into his hands. Then a thought came to him and he jerked his head back up.

 

“Are you going to tell your dad?”

 

That earned him a paper wade to the head and a horrified gasp. “What kind of a friend do you think I am Icarus!? No of course not, he’d skin you alive.” Relieved, the younger one relaxed into his chair. He was right about Amata, they’ve been best friends since before they could even talk, they were here to protect each other. If that meant from Amata’s own dad then that’s fine. Icarus redirected his attention to the workload in front of him, straightening it back out. “Does your dad know?” The younger boy nodded, turning to the terminal to prepare some patient files. “Does he care?” Icarus shook his head. The computer seemed slower than normal, probably a hardware problem, that’s what happens when you have tech from 200 years ago. “You two have sex yet?” Icarus turned sharply at his friend, blushing up a storm while she just grinned wildly. “Amata!” That caused her to break out in laughter, doubling over as he grabbed her side. The other huffed, knee starting to bounce. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” She managed through teary eyes and high pitched giggles. Icarus stuttered out words, only earning a loud laugh from Amata when a sharp knock interrupted them. The door slide open and relieved Butch, whose eyes widened when he saw the girl sitting opposite Icarus. He started mumbling out an apology and turned to leave but Amata stopped him.

 

“I know Butch.” He spun sharply, eyes first to the girl than Icarus, who avoided his eyes but nodded slowly. The older boy sputtered for a moment, his brain trying to rack through the implications when Amata stood. “Icarus you are taking a break, we are going to the Reactor.” Almost instinctively, the younger man did as she commanded, standing sharply. She marched past Butch, who was still trying to figure out what was happening, and explained to Icarus’ dad what they were going to do. While she was gone Icarus slowly approached the other boy, placing his hand on Butch’s arm. He just looked at the younger boy, Icarus could see the fear in his eyes and gave a reassuring squeeze to try an ease the pain on his face.

 

It didn’t help.

 

“Are you two coming?”

 

\--

The three made their way down to the Reactor, Amata leading the way and Icarus trailing behind. Butch was farther back, the younger boy constantly looked over his shoulder to make sure he was still there. His eyes were glued to the ground and Icarus couldn’t shake the feeling this might not end well.

 

They made it to the shooting range, Amata taking a seat by the door while the two boys just stood awkwardly side by side. This felt like a kind of interrogation. Icarus wanted to reach out for Butch’s hand, try to calm down his fidgeting and his worries but he figured the older boy might punch him if he did.

 

“We’re going to go over some things,” Amata had crossed her legs, elbows resting on his knees and her head resting behind her folded hands. “First off, do anything to him and I’ll make sure you are thrown into the reactor personally,” She pointed an accusatory finger at Butch who nodded rapidly. “Second, no constant talking about him,” This time she pointed to Icarus then Butch, he felt a blush overcome his face but nodded. “Third,” She signed out in a rather sad way. “I know you guys already know but, you have to be careful, you're lucky I was the one who saw you yesterday. You can’t leave any evidence that can’t be easily talked away and you can’t do anything in front of anyone, understood?” The two had already discussed all of this but to relieve Amata’s mind they nodded. She smiled at them and relaxed into the pillows behind her. “Good, also I get at least an hour every day with Icarus, he is my best friend.” Icarus went to laugh but the warm hand that wrapped around his hand stopped him. He glanced over to Butch who had a shit eating grin on his face.

 

“Well Nosebleed is my boyfriend, but I guess I can let you have him once and a while.”


	10. It's What the Book Says and After All, It's From Vault-Tec, It Has to be Right

Icarus had just gotten off of work when Butch swept him off his feet to the reactor. Well not literally, he subtly made his presence known and the two just seemingly wandered to the same place.

 

It had been a couple of weeks since Amata talked with them and Butch said they were boyfriends. Icarus had wanted to ask if he was being serious but that time didn’t seem like a good time to bring it up and he was to busy being muffled by kisses and loud moans to ask afterward. He decided not to ask about it, to just go with the flow and be happy Butch acknowledge it at all.

 

When they made it to the Reactor the older boy immediately attacked Icarus, pushing him into the wall face first and nipping along his neck.

 

“Fuck Nosebleed, been thinking about this all day.”

 

The younger boy couldn’t help the chuckle that passed his lips, he turned himself around and wrapped his arms around Butch’s neck. The other boy grinned at him before grabbing Icarus’ hips and pulling him forward so their lips would meet. He could feel Butch’s hands begin to travel around his body, squeezing places he knows is sensitive to Icarus. He pulled away from the older boy’s mouth who let out an annoyed groan and tried to pull him back into the kisses but Icarus just laughed and shook his head. “I got something for you, Butch.” Another annoyed groan and more attempts to pull the younger boy close. “I got something for you too, if you come back here you’ll feel it.” The younger boy rolled his eyes and pushed Butch back enough to go through the bag on his hip. The older boy signed out but didn’t try anything.

 

Icarus pulled out a book, Vault-Tec colored and with sharp black words on it.

 

_Vault-Tec’s Guide to Understanding Those Who Threaten What Makes You S.P.E.C.I.A.L.: Sexuality Edition._

 

It has the typical vault boy giving a thumbs-up symbol, winking and all. Butch gave a glance to Icarus before taking the book from his hands. He gave the book and look over then went to hand it back to Icarus but the younger boy stopped him. “That’s uh, that’s the book I was telling you about a few weeks ago. The one I read when I was younger.” Butch paused for a moment but his eyes lit up in remembrance and he pulled the book back towards him. He ran his fingers across the cover and spine of the book, Icarus had to bit his lip at the thought of those fingers going across his body with such attention. The older boy gave a side glance to the other before carefully placing the book back into Icarus’ bag. “I’ll read it later but right now,” He pulled off the bag entirely and pulled the younger boy towards the stack of pillows, falling back dramatically and taking Icarus with him. He couldn’t help the chuckle that passed his lips and Butch quickly followed it with a deep kiss.

 

Icarus felt his face flush as the other got on top of him, pinning and straddling him against the pillows. The kisses had slowed down gradually but they had also become deeper and more sensual than before, the younger boy couldn’t help the moans attempting to pass his lips that Butch was swallowing. Unconsciously, Icarus hips began to buck up, needing attention on his growing cock and Butch moaned at the contact. The older boy pulled away but kept his face near the other’s, eyes shut as he rolled his hips down onto the other. The younger boy stared up at the huffing, sweaty version of Butch above him, eyes closed in pleasure and a horrendous thought flashed through his mind.

 

**I love you.**

 

A gasped passed through Icarus lips as the thought filled his mind and luckily, Butch didn’t catch in through his own hazy breaths. Whatever the thought was, whatever dark, sick, twisted part of his brain decided to speak its devilish mind, Icarus had to ignore it. No matter what, the thing going on between them, relationship or no, he could not get that attached. There was a plan for his future and even if he wanted to spend it as a lover to the Vault’s barber, that wasn’t the route he was designed for. No matter how much it crushed him, he had to follow the rules eventually and keep his mind to himself, but now…

 

Now he just wanted to focus on the boy above him and push away the thoughts of what was to come.

 

The other’s blue eyes opened, glazed over with lust and Icarus couldn’t help a small huff of a laugh pass his lips. Butch quipped his eyebrow at the younger one, slowing his hips just a little but continuing all the same. “What’d you laughing at Nosebleed?” That only pulled another laugh from Icarus and he placed a short kiss on Butch’s lips before shaking his head lightly. “Nothing important, _god_ , don’t stop now Butch.” The older boy let a frown play on his face but quickly sped up his hips up and letting a string of moans to push past his mouth. Icarus followed in suit with his thrusts, bucking up against Butch and biting his lips to try and contain his noises to hear the boy above him. A familiar tightening began in the younger boy’s gut, he tried to get enough air to warn Butch but he just bent down, connected their lips and sped his thrusts. Icarus let out a muffled shout as he came, smearing everything in his underwear and by the sudden tension from BUtch, he assumed he just did the same. The older boy pulled away from his lips and flopped himself on top of the other, earning a small grunt and a weak shove from Icarus which really didn’t mean anything. He nuzzled himself in the younger boy’s neck, placing warm, gentle kisses where he could reach. After a few minutes of catching their breath, Icarus was the first to speak.

 

“We’re gonna have to get changed.”

 

The older boy chuckled before rolling off Icarus, intertwining their hands as he did so while the other tried to ignore it. “Way ahead of you, brought a change of clothes in my bag.” The younger boy looked at him. “I don’t have anything with me, Butch.” He stated lamely, pushing himself up and pulling his hand away from the other. Icarus went to stand but was thrown off by the other throwing his bag at him, as he stumbled back Butch chuckled at him. “What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I forgot to bring you something too?” Icarus felt his ears burn at the comment, earning another laugh from the other before opening the bag and pulling out a vault suit and clean pair of underwear. The younger boy shot a glance over to the other, flinging the underwear to him. “You had this all planned!” The accusation was playful and harmless but Butch at least mocked shame, throwing the clothing back. “Guilty as charged Nosebleed, now get changed. I wanna read some of that book before we have to get back.”

 

\--

 

_Of course, the homosexual is a disease that every Vault faces but fear not! It can easily be found and cured to make sure your citizens can continue to supply your Vault in every healthy way they can. In this chapter, we will explore the signs of homosexuality and what to do if you find yourself falling in their trap-_

 

“You’re telling me you trapped me Nosebleed?” Icarus snorted, looking up at Butch from his place on his chest. “Guess I did Butch, you’d better pay close attention on how to avoid my advances to make you join the homosexual side.” The older boy scoffed, nuzzling his cheek into the hair of the other, the arms wrapped around the younger’s waist tightened. “I think I might be too far down the rabbit hole with this one sir, guess we’ll have to find another way to convert me.” Icarus laughed softly, noting the page number and sliding the book away, turning himself in Butch’s arms to be facing him. The other gave him a look but Icarus just snuggled closer, the burning in his stomach of his emotions being pushed aside as well as the thought this was too intimate. “In another chapter it says that you should expose the suspected homosexual to gay sex, to try and get them to realize what they are actually doing. Butch slide his hands down Icarus frame, earning a small shudder and landing on the younger one’s ass. “Oh? Seems made up, how do I know you're not trying to seduce me further into the realm of the homo?” Icarus laughed, placing a soft kiss on the other’s cheek. “Maybe I am, you gonna complain?” The older boy pulled back from the other, studying his face before bursting into a laughing fit. At first, Icarus was extremely confused but after a few seconds, he couldn’t help but falling into a fit too, laughing alongside Butch.

 

Eventually, it began to die down and Icarus laid a gentle punch on the other’s shoulder. “What was so funny?” The older leaned back on the wall, pulling Icarus with him. He brushed some strands of red out of his face before a gentle smile laid on his face. “You so cute Icarus.” Immediately, the younger boy felt his face exploded in a furious blush which Butch responded with an echoing laugh and a soft kiss to the other’s cheek. A few stuttering words spilled out of the younger but he eventually calmed his brain enough to speak coherently. “What makes you say that?” This time, Butch was caught off guard and blushed deeply at the question, allowing his eyes to trail down to the oversized vault suit Icarus was wearing and began fiddling with the extra cloth. “Well, ya know… You're so smart it hurts but you love reading. Whenever we read, no matter what it is, you get so lost into it, like you aren’t here anymore but wherever the book’s taking place,” He was mumbling through his explanation but Icarus was taking in every single word. “When we read together you wait for me, don’t push me to catch up with you or just leave me behind, let me go at my own pace,” The younger boy could feel his heart pounding at the confession but bit his lip to let Butch keep going. “You and those damn glasses, look so pretty and when you laugh at my stupid jokes, it’s so… great. You add so much color to this grey world we’re stuck in.” Icarus stilled, even though it was mumbled and Butch refused to meet his eyes, the words were so genuine and loving that all Icarus could do was pull him into a loving kiss.

 

It was all the words Icarus couldn’t say back or at least an attempt. How he loved the way Butch gave him nicknames, how he loved the way Butch would ask him how to pronounce words, how he loved the way Butch treated him like he was so special, how he loved the way Butch sang his jokes, how much he loved the way Butch would try and fail to shoot his BB gun, how he loved the way Butch spoke about his love for computers, how he loved the way Butch hummed as he cut his hair, how much he loved to explain the best ways to annoy the overseer, how much loved the way Butch would kiss and snuggling him.

 

How much he loved Butch.

 

The two pulled apart, eyes locking. Actions could only do so much and Icarus knew if he wanted Butch to know anything, he would have to say it himself.

 

“Butch-”

 

A loud ringing startled the two away from each other, Icarus pushing away to sit across from Butch. Quickly, he realized it was coming from his own pip boy and looked down to see it flashing _10:45_ and a curse fell from his lips. “What is it Nosebleed?” The younger boy stood quickly, grabbing for his soiled vault suit and underwear, wrapping it in a tight ball and reaching for his bag. “I have to be in my room in 15 minutes, if they see me out now they’ll escort me back and any later is a write-up, sorry Butch.” The older boy signed, a tense on at that but Icarus didn’t say anything. “I’ll go ahead and make sure the way is clear, 2 knocks for clear,3 for someone is there.” The younger boy finished packing up his bag and gave a short nod, straightening up and being startled by a soft pair of lips against his.

 

It was a short, chaste kiss that didn’t last much longer after it started. Butch smiled down ar Icarus and started towards the door. A nagging twisted deep in the younger boy’s stomach and found himself reaching out for the other’s hand. “Butch!” The older boy quickly looked back at the theater, eyebrow up with concern on his face. “What?” Icarus found himself stammering, something was telling him to tell Butch now. To tell him everything he was feeling and that this was the only time he would be able to. There was going to be no other time than right now, he had to tell him now.

 

He loved Butch Deloria.

 

“Goodnight, tunnel snake.”

 

“Night Nosebleed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao, I didn't die. Sorry I had some writer's block and sort of just shat this out. I apologize.


	11. When You Realize The Worst is Yet To Come

Icarus was lying comfortably in his bed after a long day of procedures and appointments, a nice sleep in his bed was what he needed. He had spent an hour with Butch after work, the older boy eventually taking him home (and by taking I mean distantly walking behind him to make sure he made it) claiming Icarus was falling asleep while reading out loud. The younger boy didn’t fight it, gave Butch a small wave goodbye before immediately going to his room and falling into bed.

 

He was starting to drift off when the sound of a door going off startled him awake. A let a groan tumble pass his lips and went to get up but a lift of his door stopped him. His dad poked his head through, checking to see if his son was there and when he saw the younger boy a fond smile came across his face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. Just wanted to say, 2 weeks. Night.” and with that his father pulled away, shutting the door on his way out. Icarus blinked out of his foggy haze, trying to understand what the hell his father was talking about. He glanced over to the calendar nailed to his wall, the only thing on his wall. October 17th stared back at him, he racked his brain trying to figure out what happened in a span of two weeks. He counted 2 sevens and found the date October 31st beaming at him and fear struck him.

 

**18**

 

The age of manhood, when he will become an adult. When he’ll no longer be a teenager with a bedtime but a man who could walk the halls when he wanted, be a man who smokes with the other adults, be the man who will get the job and a wife and have to ignore the fact he has affection for the hair-er, barber, and the bullshit of having to live and die in the vault. Icarus bolted up, tiredness flashing away in the pain of the truth. Quickly, he slipped out of bed and pulled on the vault suit from the previous day. He snuck over to the window which showed into his home, eyes wandering for his father but he was nowhere in sight and his room door was closed. Icarus opened his door, waiting to see if his father was going to walk out to investigate, loud snoring confirmed his father wasn’t getting up, even if another round of bombs fell. The younger man shuffled over to the front door but before he could leave a thought struck him.

 

_Where the fuck was he going?_

 

There was really only two people who came to mind, Butch and Amata but it wasn’t going to happen. Butch’s mother tended not to go to sleep till around 3 in the morning and it was only around 11. Amata was off the list since he didn’t need the overseer spotting him out and about after under 18 curfews, despite the fact he was literally the only one still 17 but whatever, was it worth the risk? She was his absolute best friend, the one who was there for years and years and didn’t even blink when she learned of Butch, even spending a few times with the two in the range but requiring they stay apart but hand-holding was fine. Icarus stifled a giggle at the thought and slipped into the hallway and started towards his best friend’s home.

 

\--

 

Icarus barely avoided officer Mack before he made it to Amata’s place, a quiet peek through the window confirmed she was home alone, reading a book on the couch. The younger boy glanced around to make sure the hallway was emptied before doing a series of 3 taps, a thing from their childhood to let each other know it was the other. The door opened quickly after and Amata smiled to her friend, pulling him into a strong hug. “What are you doing here? It’s past curfew!” A small huff of laughter went past Icarus’ lips, his friend pulling him towards the couch, each at one end so they could sit across from each other. Icarus took in a deep breath before he began explaining, trying to calm his singing nerves. “I was just thinking, I turn 18 in 2 weeks and I’ll have to start doing the adult stuff, work an actual job in the clinic, start wrapping up my education, go to vault meetings and uh…” He bit his lips, fighting back the wave of emotions threatening to burst out. A warm hand was placed on his and he looked at Amata to see her warming smile, the anxiety started to unwind, just a little, form his stomach and he continued. “And I’ll have to find a partner to repopulate the vault but I don’t-” The words died on his tongue as he felt wet tears pour past his eyes, he brought his sleeve up to brush it off and realized it wasn’t his but Butch’s. The strong smell of his aftershave broke through and that just made the younger boy break down completely, a sob breaking past his lips as he buried his face into his hands.

 

Amata acted quickly, pulling Icarus into a warming hug which he readily returned, burying his face into his friend’s shoulder. She gave a reassuring squeeze, the pressure easing the tension from the younger boy. He was hiccuping as he cried, the older girl just petting his hair gently like when they were kids after Butch had bullied the younger boy, oh have the tables of turned. Amata eased Icarus down, placing his head on her lap, whispering gentle reassurances and he came down from his breakdown. He gasped to get more air in his lungs before he collected himself just a little more to continue. “Oh god Amata, I can’t do it. I don’t want to lie for the rest of my life, I can’t do that to you, I can’t do that to myself. I don’t want to give him up Amata, I-I can’t, I think… I think-” He was cut off by his own hard sobs, his hands digging into the loose fabric of the bigger vault suit. Icarus glanced up and saw tears in his best friends own eyes. Immediately he lifted up and pulled the other into another hug, both weeping silently before Icarus broke it.

 

“Amata, I think I love him.”

  
“I know Icarus, I know.”

 

The two remained there for another hour, silently crying as Icarus repeated over and over how he felt about Butch. Their sobs drowning out hard pounding of boots on the other side of the door,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I suck at updates, I get really into games and then just totally lose interest then I get really into them again. Sorrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy but take this shit I shat out in around 2 hours so I can satisfy my need to keep this story going. The end is ney my friends, but don't fret! Icarus and Butch adventures will continue.
> 
> Also, why did I change Lone Wanderer's birthday to be younger and shit? I don't fucking know but I damn did so deal with it. Punk
> 
> (JK I LOVE YOU ALL THANKS FOR THE LUV AND SHIT BRO)


	12. The Best of Times

Icarus could hardly keep his eyes open. His dad was droning on about his upcoming test to become a certified medical assistant, to actually be more than a glorified desk manager and contribute to the vault but sleep kept trying to drift him away.

 

He had snuck back into his room at around 2 am, spending much of the night crying and sobbing to Amata and the fantastic best friend she is, she just listened and tried to help him through it. Even helped sneak him back to his room but when he did make it, sleep still evaded him. His mind was racing 100 miles at the realization he had come to the night before. He did love Butch, as much as he wanted to deny it and ignores it, he couldn't. The flutter in his chest when they were together, the jokes they laughed together at, the reading with each other, everything just made Icarus fall deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole but…

 

Life in the vault wouldn’t let it happen, and he either had to come to terms with that or figure out a way around it.

 

“Icarus!” The younger boy quickly bolted his head up, eyes opened wide and mouth agape. His father had a less than pleased look on his face, leaning back in his chair and arms firmly folded across. Timidly, Icarus let out a chuckle and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck out of embarrassment. His dad signed before pulling forward, face buried in his hands. “You’re killing me, you know that?” The younger didn’t know exactly what he meant, was it the situation with Butch or his schooling? His dad wasn’t oblivious to him and Butch, even offering his son advice and after a very awkward encounter, condoms (not that Icarus and Butch had ever taken it that far but it’s the thought that counts?) but all in all, he seemed fine with it. Icarus hadn’t gotten in trouble nor had they been caught yet but it had to be strenuous on his father to act like nothing was going on and his son was definitely not breaking a major vault rule.

 

“We can pick up again tomorrow?” Icarus voice was soft as he spoke and from behind his hands, his father signed and nodded. He pulled away and stood up, stretching to crack his worn bones. “That might be for the better, sleep on this information and then we can cram some more tomorrow.” The young boy nodded, gathering the note cards scattering the table and bidding his father good night. After an affectionate pat to the head, his father disappeared behind his room door.

 

Icarus heard the tale tell sign of his father falling into bed and quickly rushed from the dining room table to his room, grabbing a fresh vault suit and made his way to the exit of their apartment. Eyeing the hallway and seeing it was clear, he slipped out and started to make his way down to the reactor.

  
\---

  
The younger boy’s pace quickened as the Reactor came into sight, his heart racing with anticipation. He had never been this excited before to see Butch, every time was a time to look forward too yeah but this time he felt refreshed and giddy, probably due to his late-night discovery with Amata but who knows.

 

The door to the shooting range flew open and there stood a smiling Butch, grin as smug as ever. The younger one chuckled before being pulled into the room, closing the door behind him. A warm, soft kiss was placed on his lips while being pulled into a crushing hug. Icarus couldn’t help by a smile as the older boy pulled him towards the pile of pillows they usually read on. He pulled away from Butch, giving him a lustful smile before playfully pushing him down onto the ground and straddling on top of him, earning a surprised laugh. Icarus stared down at the boy under him, blue eyes roaming around the younger’s face with a tint of lust under them but something else really. The other hope, all he really could do was hope, whatever was under those gorgeous eyes was the same thing under his own eyes.

 

“Hey.”

 

The whisper from Butch snapped Icarus out of his thoughts, realizing he was just mindlessly letting his hands roam around the older boy’s body. Getting caught staring, a nervous giggle made it’s way past his mouth.

 

“Hello.”

 

Butch raised his eyebrow in confusion but the smile on his lips relieved any tension that curled in the younger boy’s stomach. Both broke out into a laughing fit, Icarus falling onto the other as their laughing got louder. Warm hands wrapped around him, he could feel the vibrations of the older boy laughing below him. Slowly the laughing stopped into a comfortable silence, the other was gliding his hands along with the smaller boy. The heat from Butch’s body, the gentle humming from the reactor, the softness from the pillows around them, it was almost a picture perfect story.

 

“Hey Nosebleed?”

 

Icarus responded with a hum, moving his head to be face to face with the other. There was a cute amount of pink blush was on his cheeks and a nervous look on his face. The younger boy went to lift up but the arms around him tightened. “No no, you look… cute like this.” It was the other boy’s turn to blush, which got a laugh from the other even though he looked nerve-wracking. “So your birthday is soon…” Icarus signed, he was hoping no one would remember his birthday but he just kept quiet about it. “I was wondering if you uh, wanted to um…” The younger boy furied his eyebrows, shifting himself to look more at the other. “Butch?” The older one let out a frustrated huff, burying his face into Icarus shoulder. “Why you have to make doing this so hard?!” Confused, the younger boy tried to look the other face to face but he refused to budge. Icarus tried to ask what he was saying when a muffled questioned stopped him.

 

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

 

The younger boy sputtered at the question, forcing Butch to look at him. He was redder than anything and he refused to look at Icarus. “What do you mean? We’ve already-” Butch shook his head, grabbing the other’s hands and keep his eyes on them. “No I mean like, the other thing we haven’t done. You know, that thing that was in the book.” It took a moment for Icarus to remember what book but it quickly popped into his head.

 

The vault tec guide.

 

The younger boy breathed to collect his thoughts, focusing on the warm hands squeezing his and giving them a gentle pulse back. “I don’t know exactly what you're talking about BUtch, can you show me?” Icarus spoke in his calming doctor voice, sounding a lot like his dad, trying to ease the stress obviously wracking the other. He let the other boy take his time to collect himself, allowing Butch to squeeze his tension out.

 

Finally, he nodded and gave Icarus a nervous look which the other responded with a soft smile. Seemingly, that relaxed the other and he gave a soft kiss to his boyfriend then pointed to a bag. “It’s in there.” The younger boy nodded, placed a soft kiss on Butch’s knuckle and slipped away to grab it. It was easy to find the book, being the only thing in here and he made his way back over, sitting next to the other. He handed it over and Butch quickly flipped through it, hesitating when he got to the page he wanted but gave it back over. Icarus started skimming through the page.

 

 _When you have decided that the suspect you have found_  
_is a homosexual, it is time to act to protect the safety of the vault._

  
_STEP BY STEP TO SAVE YOUR VAULT_

  
_Step 1: Befriend Homosexual_

  
_-Even if it is undesirable, you must befriend them in order to bring them to justice._  
_-Follow their desires, pampering themselves, watching musicals, working out and etc. is something they are known to like._  
_-DO NOT PUT YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCES RUN THE FRIENDSHIP, IT NEEDS TO BE SUSPECT FOCUSED_

  
_Step 2: Flirt With Homosexual_

  
_-To bring the homosexual to justices, you must start pursuing a relationship_  
_with them unfortunately but think of the future of the vault._  
_-From your time together, note all the things the homosexual seems to enjoy around you,_  
_they will be attracted to you due to them believing you both are homosexual_

  
_Step 3: Engage In Sexual Relations_

  
_-Although the most difficult part of the process, this is the most violated._  
_The Vault needs you for this._  
_-Depending on the homosexual depends on the activities that must be done_  
_-Homosexual women like stimulation through the vagina via oral, fingers, toys. They want to dominate as they are “Butch Lesbian”, follow their request._  
_-Homosexual men like stimulation through the penis with oral and through the anus by oral, fingers, penis, toys. They want to be dominated as they are “Twink Gays”, follow their request._

Icarus blinked to understand what he was reading, closing the book slowly. From where he was sitting, the could feel Butch jittering, constantly wringing his hands. The younger boy placed the book away and turned towards the older boy, grabbing a hold of his sweaty hands. He looked up at the younger boy, a look of uncertainty and fear behind his eyes. More than anything, Icarus wanted to kiss the fears away and convey his feelings but he knew better than to push Butch right now, perks of studying the medical field; don’t push unsteady patients. “Do you want to-” “Yes.” The older boy answered breathlessly, giving a forced smile to hide his fear, Icarus answered with his own genuine smile. “I… I do too.” Butch paused at the answer but quickly, all the tension flushed out of his body and he threw Icarus over him, pulling the younger down for a kiss. The other couldn’t help but laugh, nuzzling into the kiss happily. Before Icarus could really do anything, Butch pulled away with cheeks flushed and a smile on his face. “I don’t want to do it yet,” He shuffled to sit up more, hugging Icarus closely. “I want to make it your birthday present.” Icarus smiled at the thought, placed a warm kiss against the temple of the boy under him. “I’m looking forward to it.” Butch laughed at that before pulling the other back down into a kiss, smiling the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry bout the lack of updates, getting ready to graduate and I'm not prepared for life but I am much happier with this chapter than the last but do not fear, I have the whole story in my head.
> 
> Just have to, ya know, actually write it.


	13. When It Rains, It Pours

Icarus would never say he was a great cook, he understands the anatomy of people and the science of curing diseases but one of the basic fundamentals to make sure people live, not so much but it’s the thought that counts. It would be if it didn’t smell like he had set off a nuclear bomb in the kitchen.

 

“Are you trying to start a fire?” The younger boy looked over to his dad, hair sticking every which way and still dressed in his lab gear from the night previous. Icarus smiled, returning his attention to his attempt at making fried cram. “Well, someone has to try.” The older man laughed, walking over and giving his son a pat before sitting at the table, looking over the neatly stacked cards, he gave a positive hum. “You got the rest of the cards done good, we can finish studying.” Icarus nodded, removing the pan from the stove and plating the food. He placed the plate in front of his dad, along with coffee he had wait and pouring himself a bowl of cereal and sitting across from his dad. “I’m more than ready.” The smile from his dad made him feel like a kid again, getting praised by his dad for reading his first book or learning his first body structure. “You seem to be in a good mood, never usually are before your birthday.” The younger boy nodded, taking a bite of his food and looking over to the bible verse that has been on the wall since he was a child.

 

_I am Alpha and Omega,_  
_the beginning and the end._  
_I will give unto him_  
_that is athirst of_  
_the fountain_  
_of the water of life,_  
_freely._  
_Revelation 21:6_

 

“Never liked the feeling of celebrating on that day.” Icarus dad’s eyes followed where his sons were, taking a moment to read the verse he has read thousands of times but like his son, it always seems to the first time. “I’ve always felt like it shouldn’t be a good day,” He heard a tired, sad sigh from his father, “Icarus…” It’s a conversation they have had for years, the 18th now but this time Icarus was smiling as they talked. “Now I’ve realized, it doesn’t need to be a tragedy of death but the celebration of life,” He stood up and walked over to a picture that had laid on the mantle from years, the only picture of his mother. She was smiling up at the camera, hair wild like Icarus’, dimples deep in her cheeks and she was holding up an ultrasound picture, his picture. “She doesn’t deserve to have her memory clouded by this dark, moments of her death but the joyous time of her having the child she wanted…” Icarus felt himself starting to get choked up and a couple of tears began to slip down his face, he brought his sleeve up to whip them away. A warm hand was placed on his shoulder and he looked over to see his father’s teary eyes, soft smile looking down at him. The younger boy was pulled into a tight hug, returning it with a small laugh. “You were that baby Icarus, the best thing we could have ever asked for.” His father gave him a kiss on the head before pulling away to whip both of their tears away then clapping his hands loudly, smiling widely.

 

“Well! I’m glad you're actually excited this year but we have to get you ready for your exam or else your mother will come back to haunt me because her only son-” “Hey! I’m a medical student, not a trash compactor!” Icarus jokingly snapped back, making his way back to his chair. His father followed, laughing along with his son. “Glorified janitor at best son, now! Where are the places you can find a pulse?”

 

\---

 

After a few hours of studying with his dad, Icarus decided to go get some lunch from the dining hall then visit Butch and Amata at their jobs. He knew Butch only had morning appointments and Amata was learning the ropes of Overseer at her home. He felt a giddiness about the thought of seeing his boyfriend and best friend, a sense of normality he wasn’t used to. As he made his way to the dining room, he was shuffling through flashcards to make sure no time was wasted even as he just walked to get food.

 

They almost distracted him enough to ignore the crowd forming around the dining hall.

 

It wasn’t until he ran into someone that he spotted the large group of people.

 

“Aye watch where you’re going dipshit!” It was Paul from Butch’s crew, almost snarling at him as he spoke. Icarus just shook his head, trying to look over the crowd's heads of the residents. He spotted Christine curled up in a ball next to the dining room, crying her eyes out loudly. No one seemed to be focusing on her so the younger boy decided to make his way to her. Even though Icarus could not stand Christine, the night at the dance forever staking her name as the devil to him, he couldn’t help his doctor side of needing to help people. He shoved his cards in his vault suit pocket as he crouched down to her level. She looked up at him, eye puffy and makeup running from crying. Icarus gave the best comforting smile he could, “Christine, what’s wrong?” She just shook her head and pointed towards the dining hall, burying her face back into her knees. The younger boy gave her a gentle pat before standing up and facing the crowd, a deep pit began to form in his stomach at whatever was happening but something also told him he needed to know. Although shorter than his fellow vault dwellers, he was still able to elbow his way past the crowd to enter the clearing of the dining hall.

 

It was a mistake.

 

Sitting at the farthest booth was Butch and Amata, she in his lap and he holding her close.

 

Their lips were together.

 

Icarus felt everything freeze, time slowed to a stop and his heart was the only thing he could hear. This couldn't be happening, it could not. Amata would never do this to him, they were basically siblings, a bond closer than anything and yet she is doing this? Butch wouldn’t either, would he? Maybe this was a plot against him, they used him so they could get together but Amata HATED Butch, even when she found out, she always reminded Icarus her feelings on Butch. How he was a delinquent and a dick but she was happy for him. Icarus felt his chest starting to restrict, his head became dizzy and time started to pick up again. The younger boy stumbled back and fell.

 

The two stopped what they were doing and looked down at him. Immediately Amata when to get up but Butch stopped her, silently they communicated through eye contact and finally looked down at Icarus. He stared right back, eyes starting to blur with tears. A loud bang from the back of the group didn’t even flinch him. The Overseer pushed his way past the crowd, nearly stepping on Icarus as he did. His cold eyes traveled down to the boy before curling into an unsettling grin, almost like he knew what this had done to Icarus. He loudly clapped his hands to silence the muttering amongst the crowd. “Alright everyone, clear out! Nothing to see here but teenagers doing teenager things, everyone back to work,” He looked down at Icarus and leaned it. “You too, fag.”

 

The younger boy let out the faintest gasp, side-eyed Amata and Butch but they refused to look him in the eye. Icarus pushed off from the ground and started running. He wasn’t sure where but he let his feet carrying him as his brain started to break down. Tears upon tears, he couldn’t see anything until the door to his room opened and he darted inside. Icarus came to a spot before pooling onto the ground, crying loudly.

 

How could they do this? He trusted them! Amata was basically his sister and he loved Butch. They were his everything but they just, they did this! He felt ruined, his love was ripped out his heart and he had nothing but a gaping wound.

 

“Icarus!?”

 

He distantly heard his dad speak but it just blurred like the rest of the outside world, he barely felt his father wrap his arms around him. The younger boy could do nothing but cry, his brain unable to recollect itself. It was loud, ugly and disgusting but his father stayed with him, soothing the best he could.

 

Finally, Icarus started to collect his scattering thoughts but he could form coherent words so it just became a jumbled mess of “Amata”, “Butch”,"Kissing”, “Hurt”, “Heartbreak” and loud sobbing. His dad seemed to understand because he just nodded and pulled his son closer as he cried.

 

How could they do this to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while angry so sorry if it sucks but ahahaha broke y'alls necks and to think it either gets worse or better from here


	14. Protection for the "Innocent"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS HAS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND BLOOD

Life returned to a cycle for Icarus after about 2 days but it became wake up, go to work, go home and sleep. Eating wasn’t on his schedule unless his father made him, talking to anyone besides Jonas or his dad wasn’t going to happen and even then he only talks to Jonas about medical stuff when he had to and when he talked to his dad, Icarus refused to meet his eyes.

 

He barely spoke about anything, mainly just the medical jargon he had memorized. Everything was just bland, blank speaking, Icarus didn’t have the emotional energy to care or think. He was tired from the constant crying at night and even though he was numb from the feeling of betrayal, the tears couldn’t help but flow constantly.

 

He felt ruined and foolish, for letting himself fall so deep for Butch and for even getting with him at all. It was never going to work out in the vault, now his only job was to care for those down with him. Words he never understood finally starting to clear up.

 

We are born in the vault, we die in the vault.

 

Icarus felt like a part of him had already died.

 

His father tried his best to avoid the subject but about 5 days after the incident he couldn’t keep to himself anymore.

 

“Icarus?”

 

The other felt himself brace as his father spoke, he knew what was about to happen and knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. He swallowed his last bit of cram before setting his fork down and slowly looking up to his dad, a gentle smile easing him a little. “Do you want to talk about it?” Icarus signed out of his nose, leaning back in his chair. He DID want to but, he didn’t think he could. His mind still burned with the thoughts of everything and he was too scared to utter a word about it. Not so much out of fear of his emotions but of who could be listening. Icarus trusted his dad more than anything but when the Overseer had called him a faggot, it clicked something in his mind even if he hadn’t known at the time.

 

Somehow, some way, the Overseer knew about the two boys and that scared Icarus shitless, now he had leverage on him and that could be horrible news for Icarus and his father.

 

“I don’t, not yet at least,” he looked up at the older man who was frowning slightly but nodded for him to continue. “I still need to think things over, clear my head of everything but in time, I will want to.” Icarus watched as he dad looked down in thought before nodding again and standing up, grabbing the dishes. “Ok son, just know I’m always here for you. You're the most important thing in my life and I don’t want to see you go through this on your own.” The younger boy looked down at the table before opening his mouth to talk when his dad spoke again. “And as your father who cares so much,” Icarus looked up and saw his dad looking over his shoulder as he washed their dishes. “You have got to shower.” The younger cracked a smile and hummed in agreement, his dad chucking in response. Icarus stood up and stretched, walking to grab his bathroom bag and a towel then heading towards the door. “Icarus?” He turned and saw his dad standing by, arms open for a hug. The other smiled sadly and returned the hug, biting his lip to stop the tears that were building up. “I’m sorry if I’m not good at this, your mother would know what to say.” The younger shook his head and held his dad tighter.

 

“No, it’s ok. I’m ok. Thank you, Dad.”

 

Icarus pulled away, avoiding his dad’s eyes, grabbing his bag and leaving for the showers.

 

\---

 

The young boy flinched from the sudden cold water against his back, the heater must have been broken again. A gentle sign made it passed his lips and he started washing off. There was nothing but the sound of the shower, barely enough white noise to keep Icarus from thinking of everything no matter how much he tried to ignore it.

 

He could feel the back of his mind racing, pounding with memories of Butch. Them laying together while they read, the stupid jokes Butch would mutter in the early mornings when they slept together, the nervous way he would talk about how he liked cutting hair or his fascination with computers, how Butch would give him gentle kisses to harsh ones, when his blue eyes would gaze at him with such feeling then when his iris would get so big it left a blue ring. Icarus felt tears begin falling down and a sob passed his lips, then…

 

A laugh came as a response.

 

Icarus immediately straightened up, slowing looking over his shoulder. Although the shower curtain was up, he could see 3 figures by the entrance. The younger boy felt his heart began to beat faster and faster, he began slowly making his way to the curtain. His towel was hanging on a hook right outside the shower, he was just going to grab it and leave, not wanting to deal with anyone.

 

As he eased his way over, Icarus noticed how the figures were moving towards him and the laughing got louder and harsher. Just from the tone of the laugh and the way whoever was approaching, he knew he was in a shitshow. Icarus rushed towards the curtain, arm out to reach for the towel when the curtain was yanked away, causing the younger to fall to the ground. Standing above him was the one and only, tunnel snake crew; Paul Hannon Jr., Wally Mack, and Freddie Gomez. Wally was standing the closest and grin like a maniac before he leaned down.

 

“Well hello, faggot.”

 

Icarus tried to bolt up but a boot to the chest slammed him back down, the other laughed loudly with eyes glaring down. “Oh no, no, no fag, you ain’t going anywhere.” Wally grabbed ahold of the younger boy’s forearm, pulling him up painfully and throwing him to Freddie who managed to lock Icarus’ arms behind him. He tried to thrash out of the hold but the other was just much stronger than him and his energy was basically nonexistent from everything that has been happening, whatever they had planned Icarus couldn’t see himself getting away. Wally gave this playful nudge to Paul and Freddie chuckled along with them. “Well, well, lookie at this. Must be a fantasy for you huh fairy?” The younger looked up at the two in front of him, Wally wildly grinning and Paul looked very uncomfortable, as he usually did when he did anything with the tunnel snakes. Icarus smirked as much as he could and eyed the others. “Keep dreaming princess.” A frown and a swift kick to the face knocked him down as a response. The younger boy felt his nose crack from the impact from the kick and move more from the hit from the floor. He could see the boots of the three in his view and when he tried to get up another kick pushed him down.

 

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

The words were harsh as Wally hissed them out, grabbing hold of Icarus hair and pulling it up to meet their eyes. The younger boy saw glazing over his eyes and being close to his face he could smell what had to be alcohol. However, he had to have something else in his system to have such a crazy look in his eyes, Icarus was starting to feel scared for his life. The most disgusting look mortified around Wally’s face before he yanked the other up by his hair to be standing. “Don’t act like you don’t like this faggot, you probably get off to this every night. The thought of one of us fucking you, huh?” Icarus let out an angry huff, fighting against the hand clutching him, Wally looked to the other two. “Grab him and put him against the wall, we’ll give the boss what he wants.” The older released Icarus’ hair but before the other could try for an escape, Paul and Freddie grabbed a hold of his arms and brought him back in the shower he had been using, which was still running. The cold water gave a shock to his body and new found strength but with the two boys holding him, he had no chance. Icarus was quickly spun around and slammed against the tile wall, his face looking towards Paul who was trying his best to avoid the younger boy’s eyes. “Freddie, a knife.” Icarus looked as much as he could and saw Wally catch a sharp kitchen knife from Freddie, giving it a once over before making his way to Icarus. Like a predator looking for the perfect place to strike, with the knife ready to maim, the younger figured out pretty quickly the plan. He started fighting against the arms holding him, trying to let out a scream he could make but Freddie quickly locked his head against the wall with a hand. “Paul! Cover his fucking mouth!” Icarus stared up towards him, Paul’s eyes giving away his uncomfort with the situation, this could be his chance.

 

“Please Paul, please help me.”

 

The older boy snapped his attention to Icarus, his soft pleas breaking down the look in his eyes. The younger boy waited for and hope that this would change his mind, he would save Icarus. Their eyes were together for what felt like so long but before Paul could make a move, a hand grabbed Icarus by the hair and pulled him back, Freddie’s sneering face coming into view. “Think about what he did to Butch man! This is all his fault, we’re just doing what’s good for the vault!” The other stuttered on his words, clearly unsure of what to do when Wally grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close to the younger boy. “This faggot changed our leader Paul, because of him, Butch is having issues. This is the main root of all of it. Boss is paying us good to make sure we take care of this problem but this is also for Butch.” Icarus saw his chances of getting out unharmed die with the hesitation from Paul and the other nodded, grabbing a cloth from his pocket and stuffing it in the younger boy’s mouth. He was forced back into the position from before and Wally made his way to Icarus’ exposed back.

 

“Perfect place to broadcast just what you are, right Icarus?”

 

And then, the knife took its first plunge into his skin.

 

Even though the muffle, Icarus screams were loud and harsh, Paul covering up his mouth to try and help block out the sounds. The pain was unbearable, he could feel the hot, sticky blood pouring as Wally cut, deep into his back. There was a pattern with what he was cutting, planned out beforehand as he dug into the younger boy’s skin. Icarus couldn’t hear anymore, he could barely see, only feel the searing pain of the knife digging into his back. He could feel himself crying, the pain building ad building as he tried to pull away but the hands on him only gripped tighter. There was a terrible laugh resonating as Wally cut into Icarus skin, crackling as they all watched the younger boy bleed and be cut. The longer it went on, the less Icarus could fight, the amount of blood flowing out was starting to get to him, energy draining along with it a black starting to fringe his eyesight.

 

Then something just hit him.

 

Icarus wasn’t quite sure what it was, adrenaline or a need to survive but he wasn’t going to let them win.

 

Or at least, he wasn’t going to die without a fight.

 

Whatever Wally was carving into his back, he had finished and pulled away to look at his work. Freddie leaned over to look as well and loosened his grip on Icarus. He took this opportunity and ripped his arm away, swinging it to Paul and punching him in the face. A satisfying crack came from the impact and his nose posed at a similar angle to Icarus’. He quickly spun around only to be charged and tackled to the ground by Freddie, his back and himself screaming in pain as he got thrown down. The maniacal laugh that flood past his mouth seemed inhuman and the look in his eyes spoke the same. Icarus began struggling against the boy above him, taking brunt punches to his face, blocking as many as he could. The younger boy spotted Wally out of the corner of his eye, pulling a syringe out of his jacket and Icarus immediately recognized it as Med-X but there was a bright colored liquid attached to it. Similar to the radiated drug his father and Jonas were working on but from what Icarus could remember it was highly reactive to the nervous system and basically changed it to a hallucinogen.

 

Icarus gasped in understanding, the reason their eyes were glazed and how they could easily just maim the younger boy. He also figured their “boss” was the one who gained access to it and used it as part of a reward for attacking Icarus. Fear slide down his gut as Wally approached Freddie, ready to give him an injection. The younger breathed to try and calm his nerves. His blood began pooling more and more while his vision began getting worse, his energy was starting to wear off. Icarus wanted to give up, he wanted to stop fighting and just escape the vault. He has done his duty, lived in the vault and now he was ready to die on the vault. Then anger flashed through him.

 

He did not want to give these fuckers satisfaction.

 

As Wally approached Freddie, needle ready to inject Icarus used what strength he had to push the boy on top of him off and into the needle. It ended up in his shoulder and while it wasn’t an extremely long needle, it was enough to rip a yell out of Freddie. He stumbled back into Wally from the push and they both ended up falling over each other, Freddie let out yet another loud scream. The younger boy looked over to see the syringe still in Wally’s hand but the needle had broken off, probably embedded into the boy’s shoulder. The liquid had poured out from the break and began making its way down Wally’s hand, getting a scream from him. From the sizzling sounds, Icarus assumed it was so toxic it was burning his skin. Imagining that in their bloodstream sent a shiver down Icarus spine. He took to opportunity to try and make run for it but as he rose to stand, the loss of blood hit him hard and he crumpled to the ground, back searing in pain. His eyes couldn’t focus and it was getting hard to hear but he was desperate to make it to the door. Rolling in his blood, he made it to his stomach and started doing his best to crawl to the door. The screaming of the two boys was muffled and they were stumbling over each other to leave, Paul running after them in a panic. He left the door wide opened as he left. Icarus felt his body trying to push to the last bit, he wanted, at least to be found.

 

Icarus tried yelling but it was just weak and mumbled words, he would have to get out the door if he had any hope of someone finding his bloodied corpse. The disgusting squish of his blood made his stomach twist, his throat trying it’s best to hold the vomit threatening to blow over.

 

It’s so close.

 

His nails curled around the last bathroom tile, helping pull his way through the doorway and into the cool hallway. With the top of his body out, he could feel a cool breeze on his bleeding scars easing the pain somewhat.

 

“Help.”

 

It was pathetic and quiet but the last effort before Icarus’ world starting slipping away. His last view of the grey and ugly walls of the vault blackening with each blink and right as he readied for the pain to stop a voice screamed out for him, one he knew all too well.

 

“Butch?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ain't even gonna try and say I'll try and update more with my schedule clear. My writer's block has been terrible but I do know where the rest of the story goes but I just don't know how to write it down. I don't feel I did the best writing what I wanted to happen/ what is going on in my head. I generally love Icarus and Butch but I'm just shitty at writing my thoughts and stories. Thank you for sticking around for my story, I love you all thank you!


	15. Beep

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

“Major blood loss and loss of conscientious.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Get O+, NOW!”

 

 

 

 

 

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Stems can only do so much, Med-X and Rad-X. I don’t care, this is my son.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I don’t have to go through you Alphonse, I’m the Doctor here and I can do what I want with my supplies.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

“C’mon son, don’t leave me yet.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ Beep, beep, beep. _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Wake up, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahs I know it’s short but have something before I start college

**Author's Note:**

> Shit's wilden bois


End file.
